A Life Half Undone
by Hayal Nazim
Summary: Rin has been reincarnated after her death in the feudal era. Now, she finds Sesshomaru and each day brings a new memory about who she used to be. Some memories, however, are better left alone.
1. Chapter 1

**"A Life Half ****Undone "**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THIS THING!

A/N: Hello peoples! It's me again. I guess you could say I got entirely too bored and decided to write another fic even in between my dance lessons and school work! ARGH! Anyway, no more hassles about my problems this is only a commentary before reading this fic. I have had suggestions and other times what I felt to be complaints about how I needed to make a "happy ending" fic, well here! HAVE IT! This fic will have nothing to do with any previous one's so, . on you people! Sorry no sequels...So, enjoy and be happy that it's not going to have a DEATH ending...

* * *

Insignificant. People whom you meet on the street for only a few seconds after apologizing for bumping into them without your own notice to their presence. Things that happen at odd intervals in time like a single roll of thunder rumbling through the early morning sky before a burst of rain descends upon the silent abode that you harbor under. These simple and _insignificant_ things can happen to anyone at any time and end up being the continuous track they unknowingly seem to travel to get them to the present situation that they are in at this very moment in time. Did they realize that such a small event that took place months or even years ago shaped what they had recently done? Of course not! No one ever does. Destiny was too harsh a word to use, more like a plan of the universe to get one to lead a certain way of life, or take an unsuspected route. All of these occurrences can lead up to a moment of life altering decision making.

What brought about this raving that I am currently holding with myself? Well, the simple fact that I never saw the deaths of everyone around me coming until I looked back at the event given back to me by my thoughts and memories. I was young and having strange dreams about death and dying at an extremely early age. My parents would always look at me oddly after I woke up screaming one night and claiming that wolves attacked me. It was awkward enough when I was younger to have my parents die and then, when I was sixteen, have the only living people taking care of me die as well. I was on my own and I still am.

Back to the bad dreams; that is to say that not all of the dreams were bad. Some I awoke with a smile and others I awoke not remembering where I was and thinking that I should be awaking in grass and beside a fire in the wilderness. Others, I would be led around by a strange figure dressed in white and never was I to see his face. Being plagued by these memories as a child singled me out from the others that I had known. I went through high school as an outcast though I didn't mind. Of course I was picked on but it could have been worse, most kids feared my quiet nature more than a kid who cut himself. It was odd to be seen as creepy by others for simply not speaking, but they were ignorant about my life and I intended to keep it that way.

Every day I would have a different dream containing this mysterious man. Every single dream was different and it seemed like when I was to fall asleep I would live an entire day in only a few hours and then, the next day when I slept, it would continue like the days I was living at the moment only somewhere, at least to me, in the past. What past? I did not know. I could only guess as to the wear of the figure I could never clearly see but this figure, I knew to be male by the mere sound of his deep voice, wore traditional clothing of the feudal times of Japan. Why would I always see everything about him except his face? He had pointed ears and sharp nails. Everything seemed to make him look demonic as a westerner would say. To me he was kind but I knew for a fact he killed things. He slaughtered in my dreams other odd looking creatures but never did he raise a harmful hand to me. Also, we (the "demon" and I) were followed by a green frog looking creature that seemed to hate this little girl I played in my dreams. He would always call me a stupid human child which lead me to the conclusion that in my dreams I was a child and that there were other things out there besides the human beings of today's society.

Never did I pay any attention to the insults of the frog, but I always seemed to be fixated on the central white figure of the "demon" always around me and sometimes fighting for me in these odd dreams. He, to me, seemed to be a hero of sorts and the feelings of admiration that I felt were overwhelming. It was almost as if I was this person and experiencing these things, just from years past; as if to be reliving past events that had indeed happened. It was odd to say the least but at one time when I reached my teens, the frog stopped calling me child and used my real name, Rin, just in a bad and angry tone. Suddenly, when I was sixteen, I noticed in my dreams, I would have sensations of love for the white figure that would appear so valiantly to protect me, while others would scorn him as being vicious and cruel. Love, was a strong word for me to use, because every person I had loved in the past had died and now I knew that these dreams _did _indeed mean something to me, no matter how small at the time, that _something_ was.

* * *

I recall one night while I slept in my late parent's home - all on my own of course - that my dreams had significance. The demon of my dreams had one day, I could only correspond with my age at the time nineteen that we had a somewhat odd relationship. At first when in the dreams of my supposed younger days, I thought so highly of him as sort of a father figure. Now, in this recent dream adoration and love come to my heart when I spotted him in my dreams, still not all of him coming into the pictures of my mind. An odd feeling that scared me somewhat in the dream as I looked at him but I could now only see his eyes. Deep gold and amber depths stared back at me.

I woke up then after I looked away in my dream. So, I really did feel for this being in my dreams? It seemed so anyway. I happened to look over at my clock and saw that it was 3 am. Great, once I was up there was no more sleep to be held in my future. Stepping out of my bed and into my kitchen I slowly walked across the linoleum and flipped on the light. It burnt my eyes for a moment and then they adjusted as I placed a mug in front of me and soon began pouring myself a glass of milk. Why were these dreams so impacted into my mind and I seemed to remember every single one in great and avid detail? I never really believed in having past lives, but now these dreams were confusing me with such real and raw emotion like I had felt these things before with that demon in my dreams. Clearing my head and finishing off the contents of the mug I walked back to my room after flipping off the kitchen lights. Maybe tonight I would be able to get sleep. It never came.

I remember that night well because I felt more complete in those moments of my dream when the demon and I were facing one another. We had some sort of link, though I know not what it is at this moment. Soon enough sleeping every night served to leave me with more unanswered questions than I expected to have. If I were in love with this demon then why were my affections not catered to by him? Did he not like me back? He never said.

Currently I sat thinking these things over as I awaited the lady to come back from finding me a book at the book store. It didn't surprise me that a book about demons and ancient Japanese folklore was in the back of this tiny abode. With everything happening in the "now" of this time period, the 21st century, no one would want to resurrect stories of demons and thieves to instill into their children's minds, but now in this day and age that space was filled with what you should be when you grew up and you needed to make money. Such menial and greedy creatures humans were, and sometimes I felt bad for being one seeing everything we do to systematically destroy everything around us including ourselves.

She came back and I was finally able to pay for the books. Deciding that on a clear and crisp day as today I would take them to the park and I did. I proceeded to find myself a bench in front of these children playing while their mothers watched from a few feet away. I sat down and cracked open a book with neat and clean pages although the paper had faded a bit from nonuse and storage over what I concluded to be years. So much to know about this time period when demons and humans hated one another and as well feared what the other could do. My dreams intrigued me to find out more about this "mysterious" person that led me around like a starved puppy for so many years. I wanted to know more so that I could take away more than the basic feelings I got or what I did in the dreams. Maybe knowing more about youkai in general and the times would fill in the missing pieces that seemed to litter the puzzle of my life. I had lost so many of the pieces already it was hard to tell if my puzzle would ever get finished.

* * *

After hours of sitting on the bench and just reading what seemed to be an endless book, the chill of the air got to my fingers and the dimming light led me to believe it was going to get dark quickly. Placing my books in my hand and tucking them to my side I walked back through the park and into the busy and bustling nightlife that was Tokyo city. Japan's biggest metropolitan area. Why I had to live here surrounded by people who never knew me and people I would never see again, I do not know. Living away from everything was more my style but I had no money to move away and be at peace with my thoughts but I would learn to like it here, in due time at least I could hope.

I realized that as I walked I saw couples holding hands and whispering to one another while the other would laugh, I did not have someone. Why could I not have that? A lonely and yearning feeling crept into me and I tried to brush it off but it would not work. What was wrong with me this year? Continuing on my journey I finally reached my home and quickly took a shower and proceeded to put on my clothing for bed. What a day but at least I had learned something and maybe tonight I could read into these dreams a lot more than usual.

That morning I woke up in tears. They weren't tears of sadness but of joy. I knew his face now and his touch. I have no idea why it is that tears came from my eyes but they did and I didn't feel bad, just a bit confused but all around completely happy. Something good had finally happened and I enjoyed it very much. I appreciated the books now and would have to use them more often to get a grasp of what was going on and the underlying meaning of the actions of the time but I would get it eventually. My dream was wonderful.

* * *

_I had been standing in a field of flowers with hues of yellow and pink the colors all molding to one another creating scenery close to the rising sun. A light breeze passed through the trees ahead of me and seconds later I felt it seconds later I brushed my VERY long hair out of my line of vision and then...I saw him. I was able to see everything about him that had eluded me in the previous dreams I had. To try and describe him would not do him justice. _

_His hair was completely silver in color and eyes that seemed to glow a piercing amber and gold. Oddly enough those eyes I knew scared many but never __me__ and I felt blessed for it. His high cheeks and sharp features made him look like something carved from marble and set to be worshiped in the nearest Grecian temple. His markings caught me instantaneously: a blue/purple crescent moon in the middle of his forehead and his cheeks and wrists bore slashes of pink. He wore a white and red __haori__ adorned with flowers contained inside geometrical figures. Also, he wore __hakama__ pants and I remembered him wearing armor, but today he had nothing of the sort on his figure. Being bare of armor left his __haori__ open to the chill of the wind and the presence of a strong and muscled physique met my gaze. _

_Walking up to me he had a scowl on his face as if he had been told by the toad that he couldn't have what he wanted. I had to laugh to myself at that one; Western Lord of Japan couldn't have something. I never did know that later that scowl would be placed on his face once again for my being. __Stopping in front of me only a few inches away, he placed his hand on top of my own.__ I did not know what he was doing but my feelings and heart beat increased dramatically in seconds at his touch. Even in dreams, as well as reality, I considered him important to me above all other things, these memories __were me in some way but I just don't know why yet. _

_How long had I awaited my dreams to reveal to me his features? Too long I suppose because tears started to roll down my cheeks but I knew it was from something other than what I came up with for reasoning after I awakened from this particular dream. Anyway, clawed hands brushed my tears away and he surprised me by bringing my face up and gently touching my lips with his own in a light and playful kiss, but I knew something was wrong. He brought our foreheads together and breathed a sigh against my lips as tears continued. What were all these tears for?_

_"I leave today __Rin__, you know that."_

_I could not register what he was saying clearly as silent tears blurred my vision and the pain in my heart blocked out words I did not want to hear. Shaking my head a little he applied force to the sides of my face to keep me from moving away. Giving up against his strength I couldn't help but whisper a small "no". _

_"Yes __Rin__, I have to go. I have to protect what belongs to me. There is no reason for you to try and change my mind; I am set on this matter. This __Sesshomaru__ is sorry for ever hurting you and if you feel that I have harmed you in any way know __I__ again, apologize. Being a demon and prince of the West I have never apologized for anything; know that you always seem to be the exception."_

_His lips began to arch if only for a second before becoming serious again, that seemed to be as close to a smile as I was going to get. As soon as he went back to his nonchalant face more tears spilled over the lids of my eyes. Clutching him to me I cried into his shoulder as he placed both arms around me and one began to soothe my back as if to tell me I would be alright; __ya__ right. Words somehow found their way through all of the tears and gasps for air._

_"Please, don't go. Don't leave me alone."_

_Stepping back away from me he placed me away from his being at arms length and as I tried to get next to him again he held back this time. Had I done something to anger him? Quickly, I placed my own hand upon his and laced our fingers so that he would not be able to leave me so easily this time. _

_Rin__, I have to go to war with __Naraku__ and his minions you will be alright without me, even if I never do come back. Accordingly, you would know from experience that this __Sesshomaru__ will not die easily or at the hand of a __hanyou_

_Shaking my head again and vigorously this time as if to shake the thoughts away, he stopped me with a quick kiss on the forehead and placed something in my hand.__ Before I knew it he was walking away with his back towards my vision. Tears blurred my eyes but I managed to open them and whisper softly to the breeze that I knew would carry it to him._

_"Don't leave, I love you __Sesshomaru__, I loved you."_

_Looking up I noticed he was gone in an instant and opening my hand I found what I never thought I would. It was something he had explained to me when I had first seen it as a child. He took it everywhere and I never did see him take it off. It was simple but beautiful at the same time and I knew that by him wanting me to have it he was saying a secret only I would hear even if not spoken from lips. This secret was a promise of love whether or not he did come back. In my palm was a necklace. A necklace made out of a deep blue set stone in the middle and golden beads for the rest of its features._

* * *

This one dream was so important because I looked up the necklace in the folklore book I had purchased from the bookstore and found the exact same thing I had seen in my dreams. It was a pendant prophesized to open a box (inside this stone a key was said to have been placed by Midoriko) and inside that box was the most precious object of the time, the Shikon jewel. And hanging around my neck in my most recent dreams is that necklace. The months I spent dreaming without him in the actual dreams told me that the war was long and hard fought. That necklace changed everything.

* * *

Down the street, I looked up from the ground as I watched cars pass by myself and a group full of people. A large crowd that I was now part of and waiting for the light to turn green so that I could walk across and go on with the rest of my day. It was like any other day, simple and boring. I was wearing a simple white dress that reached to my knees with small spaghetti straps. I loved it because it was outlined in gold which gave a shine when the sun was bright, like today.

Seeing the cars stop I knew I needed to pay attention to where I was going but a hint of silver flashed across my vision from the street I needed to walk over to. I froze instantaneously. People bumped me and tried to move passed me uttering course words at me, but I didn't care. I fixated on that one object and could not look away. There he was, the man from my dreams who I claimed to love so dearly and as I went to step forward I felt something hit my cheek. Quickly whipping my eyes with the backs of my hands I had began crying oddly enough. All of what I was dreaming had to be true, it just needed to be.

With renewed vigor and being over the shock of seeing him I sprinted across the street while cars honked and people yelled but again I didn't care. I panicked a little when I lost him from my sight for a few seconds. Then again, I saw a flash of silver from his hair and followed him down the street. As always he made a quick pace and I tried to keep up. Turning a corner I decided to get his attention because his pace was killing me and I was about to loose him due to lack of exercise. Calling out to him didn't make him stop either.

" Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru!"

Still he kept going and then I made one final burst of speed on the hot summer's day and grabbed his arm and trying to venemehntly pull him back. As I touched him I heard a growl and then he spoke in a voice I had only once heard in my dreams. How had the two of us come to this moment in time? I still did not know all of the answers yet, but I still dreamt and that was a good sign.

"Look I don't want to give you an autograph, nor do I want to take-"

He stopped as he turned to face me and then with a look of astonishment continued his sentence in a whisper, the likes of both these reactions I had never experienced before.

"...a picture. Rin?"

I looked away from him for a second. Would he even remember me? Would he want to know me again? Maybe he had been absent from my dreams because I had scared him away-highly unlikely-with my talk of love...I knew that as of now, I wanted to just see him again. I smiled and looked up at him.

"Do you remember me Lord Sesshomaru?"

I did not expect the answer I received. Arms quickly encased me in warmth and I was pushed roughly against his chest. Too stunned by his actions I didn't return it, no matter how I wanted to and quickly tears were drawing up in my eyes. I was so glad that he at least knew who I was after hundreds of years. Oddly enough I felt his nose in my hair and then he pushed my hair aside to breathe so close to my ear I felt my cheeks turn a slight shade of pink.

"I see you do remember me."

Quietly I awaited his reply and he soon enough stepped back from our moment of renewal only to place his hands at my waist this time. I felt his eyes scan me and I knew he never liked me wearing anything too revealing in my upper body and this dress was what he would consider way too shady to wear. I kept my eyes on his chest and soon he spoke.

"You have not changed much except in this period you are fairly taller than back then."

I looked up to him and smiled as I felt his thumbs need into my sides. Normally, I would feel embarrassed but I knew that what he was doing was helping him to deal with the situation. He was making sure I was really there by feeling me in his arms, so I simply let him do as he pleased. I had not truly _felt_ his touch until now. Of course in my dreams I could see myself being touched on the cheek or the shoulder but I never really felt it. He was surprisingly gentle with me from what I had seen him do to his enemies in my memories. I always felt special when I was with him and even today was no exception. Breaking the silence I then spoke.

"You have not changed at all."

He still was tall, silver haired with sharp features and demanding and piercing golden eyes. Still he had the markings on his face but of course his attire was more suited for today's world. After all, we could not function in society dressing the same as we had done in the years that I recalled when I slept. Plus, these days men could let loose a little more and seeing him dressed the way I did now was simply...cute.

He wore white (as always). A clean and crisp white button-up cotton shirt lie on his chest with the first few undone to reveal a hint of his muscle. He had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and I could see his lower arms flex when he moved. He also wore tan khaki pants and on his feet were black and open sandals. He looked like a picture from some surfer magazine but he looked a lot less stern to me than having a sword slung next to his hip.

"You look more relaxed in this world Sesshomaru. So, where were you headed? Assuming that I may still follow you like years ago? I wish to catch up with you and tell you some things."

Pulling me closer yet again he whipped my eyes from the tears that had fallen and turned around to face forward. Placing an arm around my waist he walked slowly letting me keep up with him this time.

"Quite the contrary actually Rin. In this world I'm rich just like before, but now more people know me."

He softly growled and I let out a small giggle. He always sounded angry and vengeful to others, but when he growled at me, it always seemed that he was sighing but in a harsher way. I knew he didn't like interaction with humans and demons alike but he was making me happy once again and I couldn't help but let a smile creep onto my face the whole time we were walking.

"So, where are we headed?"

He simply looked down at me and replied.

"Home."

* * *

We arrived in an odd way. I hadn't been held in his arms for so long it felt odd for a few minutes but then I got fond of the breeze blowing in my hair as we traveled through the sky. When we slowed down and he placed me on the ground I couldn't help but notice that the home looked identical to the old youkai mansion we used to inhabit. The sound of waves came to my ears and I knew that no doubt he probably owned his own stretch of beach but he had always liked his privacy and I didn't blame him in today's world you are always bumping into another person. It was a good way from the city and already I loved it.

My head began to swim with all of the memories of being in the mansion and I leaned into his side and unconsciously put my hand to my head to try and keep myself steady. The ocean breeze blew passed us as he spoke.

"Come, we shall talk after you get used to this place again. I wish to know how you remember me but only after you have had rest."

Picking me up into his arms he leaped into the air and we landed lightly in the front of the entrance to the home. Pushing open the heavy doors with no effort at all he stepped inside and I heard nothing but his shoes smacking into pure hardwood floors. He took me up a flight of stairs and made a few turns here and there as I remembered what it was like to first come here and I would get lost as a child in the space of the mansion. He stopped and opened a sliding door while balancing me in his other arm.

I noticed something right away, my old room. He had kept this here as well. What had happened to me? Pushing it aside for now, a painful headache that I knew would be aided if I did not at least try and get ample rest came to me. Placing me down on the floor he turned away as he spoke.

"Sleep and we will 'catch up' as you like to call it, when you wake."

I was about to open my mouth to ask him something when he turned to me and grazed his claws lightly along the side of my neck. To me it seemed that his touches were absent minded and he didn't seem to notice what he was doing. Pulling away from me again he walked down the hall as he spoke.

"Yes Rin, I will be here when you wake now rest."

I smiled at his retreating form and closed the door to my room. As I stepped inside I was hit with the smell of fresh flowers and as well I saw pearl colored sheets with a trim of gold on them and smiled to myself. I walked over to "my bed" and jumped face first in and giggling, sometimes acting like a kid was fun. Sighing I turned over and leapt from it again to hear the sounds of seabirds in the distance. Quickly, I walked over to a long sliding shoji door and pushed it aside to reveal a blazing midday sun and the beautiful scene of a perfect beach setting. Inhaling the ocean breeze mixed with my flower scent, I kicked off my shoes and smiled to myself as I slid back to the bed and on top of the covers.

"I'm home. Finally."

Nuzzling into the cool silk that rested against my cheek I felt my eyes grow heavy and I knew I would have questions answered when I awoke but as for now I could just simply have another memory of our old times. Yes, that certainly would do for now.

* * *

A/N: So, how was the first chapter? Review! 


	2. Chapter 2

**"A Life Half Undone"**

Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN!

* * *

As I woke, I knew I wasn't alone in my room as I had been before my eyes closed. It didn't surprise me much when I found his lone figure leaning against the shoji door with his back to me and watching the waves peak in the short distances. This time period may have made him more widely known, but he did seem less stressed, after all, he no longer had to fight demons and protect his lands every minute of every day. I suppose deep down his animal instincts call out from time to time because of being kept in for so long but I knew he still had his adventures; he always would no matter where or when.

My sight was a bit foggy but as I turned over onto my side and faced him I recognized the details and contours of his body. Clad in only a pair of grey sweatpants I couldn't help but smile at his more modern and relaxed look. At least, in this moment he was not ridden with the intent to harm another being-so far to my knowledge-or set out to destroy his brother, whom I would have to ask about their relations later on. In the mean time he had said he wanted to speak with me and now was his chance.

As he stepped away from the doors he had a hard look on his face of course I knew he would go back to being indifferent sometime, but I just hadn't wanted it to be so soon. I quickly realized he wanted to know as soon as possible how I had remembered him but I wanted to share another piece of information with him. Placing my hands under my head after I yawned, I began to speak mildly to him and I knew he could hear me.

" I had another dream while I was asleep, well more like a memory."

This, I could tell intrigued him. Sitting himself on a chair he had pulled over in front of me he looked to me to continue and so I did. Unintentionally, I closed my eyes to recall what I remembered of the dream. It was another nice one I suppose, something struck me as timid and dark about it for some reason and I could tell it affected him greatly because as I told him he seemed to lean closer to be nearer to me.

" My dream was about a day when you were not there, you were off fighting Naraku."

* * *

_Stepping out of the bath I felt a cold chill run up my back. Of course, the winter season was cold and I knew the warmth of the water had to wear off soon but I had hoped I could put on my clothes before then, but such was my luck I was chilled. Quickly I placed my kimono onto my shoulders and sighed to myself. When would he come back again?_

_Tying my obi I slid the doors open and stepped into the hallway that seemed silent enough but I knew there were others in this house; they just seemed to make themselves scarce all of the time. I had only met a few but knew that there needed to be more to run this large household. Making my way to my room I was hit with warmth and I climbed into bed, placing my covers over my body. I knew it was bad to laze around but it was too cold to want to do anything at all. Plus, who was I to talk to? __Jaken__ Of course not, he was annoying and rude so I wouldn't be calling him to stray away my loneliness. _

_Another sigh escaped me and I tried not to fall asleep. There was an odd feel in the air and I knew it could have been my imagination but it wasn't. Had something happened to my Lord? I was paranoid I knew but I still could not help it I missed him greatly. The next thing I knew was that my world was getting dark. I was tired and couldn't understand why. I just felt like I was being watched by something. Shaking it off I slipped into sleep and accepted that years with __Sesshomaru__ had made my thoughts run wild when he was not there to protect me. Nothing was wrong, so I slept on into the night._

* * *

As I finished my story Sesshomaru stirred in his chair and seemingly could not find a position to sit in. Restless was a better word to use. So, did he know something I did not about related to what I was feeling that night? I would not press him on the matter just yet. I was here now and I felt safe again under his presence and I just didn't want to ruin it with useless worries.

Looking up at him I knew instantly he wanted me to continue with what I knew and how I had found him and known who he was. So, I began to explain when my memories/dreams started and he just sat and listened. I told him that I remembered the wolves and his care of me when I was young. I told him about the growing feelings I had expressed to him and his actions to kissing me and everything that had transpired between us in my dreams. I saw him look away when I would go into his hugging me, but I smiled to myself, he was just embarrassed and I couldn't help my thoughts of the great Sesshomaru feeling that way. In response to my giggles he would glare at me but then it would only make me laugh more.

He was sitting there and listening to me, like my own personal diary only an oral version. I placed my hand on his own that had made its way to my bed when I told my stories to him. He looked over at me but did not say a word. What was going on in that head of his? Was he regretting anything or my being here?

"I missed you when you left me. When I grew up in this time I always felt that something was missing even though for a short while I had a mother and a father. There would always be this empty feeling when I would walk home alone after school or when I would have to do something new for the first time, I was always a bit apprehensive. Thank you for taking me in today. If you want I can leave."

I felt his hand move underneath me and I knew something was bothering him. Then, he said the oddest thing to me. I knew that one day I would receive some type of change in attitude from him but today seemed to be a day of reliving for me. I knew it was nice to have this happen but he felt guilty and I knew that eventually it would all come full circle, so I would wait patiently for it.

"I looked for you in this time, but I failed to find you. So I gave it up thinking that maybe you would lead a better life in this new age. And to answer your last statement, no you may not leave. I have you here and this is where you will stay."

Stunned, I knew but I shook my head at his forceful words and smiled at him again. Maybe this time it would be better, he had no wars to fight and no obligations except to himself and I was happy. It was odd to think that I just met him today, for the first time, in real life and not my dreams and suddenly that void I used to have is filled. Slowly, I pulled the sheets back and sat cross-legged in front of him.

"To be reincarnated one has to die, how did it happen?"

He didn't answer me, so I knew he was not ready but he did help me and give me a bit of hope.

"You will know in due time."

Lacing my fingers with his own again, like in my dream, I rose out of the bed and quickly kissed him on the cheek. Looking up at him I laughed at his expression, it had not changed but his eyes were just a bit wider than normal. I pulled myself away from his presence and stretched upwards to fend of the stiffness of sleeping.

"So, where can I bathe in this place?"

* * *

I felt refreshed as I stepped out of the shower. He had wanted me to use the 'old ways' of the large wooden tube, but I insisted I would take a longer soak tomorrow morning for I had nothing to do anyway. Slowly, he agreed to my terms-which was a shock to me but I held it in-and left me to take a shower. Awkwardly, I stepped away from the large shower head and turned of the water flow then walked into my bed room. I remember it even now. Everything in the same place. I felt guilty for a moment because everything was in the same place, never touched and I knew I would have to do some dusting later for most of my knickknacks had acquired a fair amount of dust.

_How long had he thought of me?_

That thought entered my mind and only one answer would suffice. I sighed to myself as I walked over to my old drawers full of clothes.

"Too long."

Looking through them I found only kimonos. Oh well, I'm going back in time being inside this place anyways, so I might as well look the part. I picked out a beautiful kimono that looked to be hundreds of years old (in which it was). I would have to ask him a LOT more questions later on. He would answer them and I would be sufficed once again and my curiosity sated and maybe then we could move on together.

The kimono I wore must have touched something in him because as I walked down the stairs, after walking for a long time trying to just get out of the vicinity of my own room, he looked shocked but that receded into a dull expression the one he always seemed to wear. At least, I had gotten some response out of him and improvement was better than none at all. I had worn a kimono of silk, my only option, and it was a light blue with clouds dancing across the chest and sleeves. An obi of white was around my waist and a fairly large bow made in the back. I would have to change before I went out.

"First thing is first, where are my clothes from THIS time period?"

He smirked lightly and decided his watch was more important than my question.

"I had them dry-cleaned; they should arrive in about an hour or two. Do not fret Rin; I won't have you out in the streets of Tokyo looking like a Geisha who's lost her make-up."

I stuck my tongue out at him and proceeded to what I thought was the kitchen until he pointed the other direction which I went to and he received another tongue face. Before he let me pass he grabbed my arm softly only to get me to stop for a moment.

"I have to go to work and I'll be back around five later on today. After I get back you can ask questions while we go out somewhere. Agreed?"

Shaking my head in an agreeing motion he let go of me and stepped towards the door. Before he left he one again added a bit of information.

"We shall stop by your apartment tomorrow and have all of your belongings moved here. Also, find something to eat and if you can't order out. They know who I am and just have them charge to me."

And with that he left. A wicked smile spread across my face and I spoke quietly as if someone would hear me and my plans would be broken.

"Well, he did say I could order out."

I walked towards the kitchen to notice that his cell phone was on the table and I figured he had another one since he didn't seem worried about it, so I picked up the phone and commenced looking for the phone book and when I found it he would not be happy, but I would be with a full stomach. Speaking of stomachs mine began to growl and another smile spread. He's rich, he won't mind.

* * *

After ordering tons of food and five restaurants later, I had even acquired and Americanized breakfast from some place around here. To be expected they looked at me oddly when they brought the food. I guess this old style home was not on their normal route of apartments and few suburban homes. Now, I sat back and looked at what I had consumed, which was a lot but I was hungry and I ate from every place so I didn't waist much. About two hours later of sitting on the couch and trying to find something to do the doorbell rang again and my cloths had arrived.

I stepped into them in the living area, which was huge but who was there to see me anyway? I folded my kimono and decided to put it away in the room her had given me. Stepping into it I couldn't help but feel like I had entered it tons of times before, which I knew I had from my memories at night. Then, I stepped out into the hallway only to wonder around and get lost, this place proved to be a maze but my search did put me directly in front of two large wooden doors with what appeared to be golden handles. Quickly I stepped in and was amazed at what I saw.

A large king sized four-post bed interrupted my vision from the start. Upon the mattress were pitch black sheets of what looked to be pure silk. I couldn't help my curiosity and looked around to see a large bathroom (vie the door being half open to this area) and a cherry wood desk with a small laptop on top of it. This was Sesshomaru's bedroom I assumed. It was wonderful. Large blood red valor drapes hung from the large window that spanned most of the wall to the left of the bed.

Stepping lightly, I crept to the bed and decided that I would just try them out and see if they were real silk. Then, before I left I would fix them back so that he would never know I was in here. Perfect plan. I stepped onto the bed and immediately giggled. It was silk and it felt cool to the touch of my skin. I smiled to myself as I grabbed a nearby pillow and laid my head upon it. I sighed lightly and knew I was falling asleep and I should fix it back and leave but my body refused me and I knew nothing but more memories, but surprisingly it was just me waiting for Sesshomaru to come back and looking out a window of my room for his form. Sadness was the whole dreams' emotion and I knew I would be weighted with the feeling of forever when he would come again.

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A/N: I know it was a short chapter. Sorry! Anyway, yes, this is a chapter type story:p It was just WAY TOO long to make into a one-shot like I had originally planned it to be. Oh well, adapt. So, read and review. More to come soon! 


	3. Chapter 3

**"A Life Half Undone"**

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine!

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He came home to no sound being emitted from the mansion and as well, he stepped into the home to the large smell of food. He could have sworn he wanted to vomit from the shear smell being emitted from the kitchen but he held it back as he set his coat on the coat rack and slipped off his shoes. Walking upstairs he began to wonder where she had gone and hopefully she hadn't been foolish and left. Soon he made a clear definition of her scent in the air and knew where she had gone. He was a bit angered that she had found his room but on the other hand he was not when he knew she belonged in his bed. 

Opening the door, it emitted a cry of protest but she did not wake. She always looked like something he should not touch but when she was asleep and at peace she looked even more like an ethereal being that would be marred by hate if touched by anyone, let alone a demon who had killed people and was known for his ruthlessness. Oddly enough in the early years of their "relationship" people had not been taking to the thought of a demon and a human with one another, but as well a demon of his caliber being seen with a human woman was detrimental. The idiocy of the human race appeared to him when they said he probably enslaved her and that she was a wonderful and kind soul that had been corrupted by the hands of a demon.

He could not contest to the last statement he often remembered. It was true, he didn't deserve her but he had her as his own and no one was allowed to taint her and the only person would be himself. Sometimes, he felt bad for seemingly holding her back from doing things she wanted to but hopefully she would know that he held her back for a reason and only wanted the best for her. That was all he ever wanted. Often times he found himself wanting to keep her secluded from the world and to his own. No one should know her he felt often times, and nothing was more hated than the thought of her having freedom the day she left him and the earth. He wished he had told her to stay in her room and he would have even threatened her life at his own hands if she would have agreed to stay where she was. She hadn't and he knew he could never keep her away from everything, but then again, she had no knowledge of her own demise, but freedom had taken her away from him.

Now, he looked upon her and knew that in this time he didn't have to worry about as much as back then, but still he worried. Always, he would always worry because when he found her he sure as hell would do anything to keep her with him. It was just bothersome knowing that he could do nothing to keep her with him, she would have to make that decision and if she decided to leave he would not know what to do, but if that happened to be what she really wanted from life-to get away from him- then he would force himself to let her go. As of now though, he was going to keep her next to him as much as possible, he needed her and that was all.

It was odd to think that she knew where his room was but he couldn't help but think she might have had a bit of intuition from her memories. He highly doubted it but he hoped she might visit here often when he was gone and leave her scent. It had faded with time and for the past hundreds of years he had gone without it and he hated every moment he could not at least make some mental recognition of her besides memories when he went to try and sleep. Without her life was worth giving up on and worth not paying attention to. She made him want to please her and make her happy and he always enjoyed making her smile.

Walking towards the bed he sat down on it and took in her peaceful facial features. She would have to go back home and get clothes but after that, he would keep her here. He wanted her here and she would stay or at least he hoped. Sliding a piece of stray hair from her face to her ear he noticed how porcelain her skin looked. Tan was not unattractive to him but she was pale and lovely the way she was she needed no improvements and he wanted it to stay like it used to be.

She wrinkled her nose at the contact as one of his fingers brushed across her cheek. Slowly she opened her eyes and automatically saw amber. Another memory and one of waiting for him to return; nothing important happened just waiting. Sitting up slowly she watched as he sat up and began to walk to the doorway of his room.

"I'm going to take a quick shower and I'll meet you downstairs in about 15 minutes be ready. We'll be getting your things from your home and bringing them here. Move on, your in MY room after all."

He watched as she blushed and got up from the bed. Stepping over to him she pressed her lips to his cheek and smiled at him softly.

"I love this room and I'm sorry for intruding but it looked so comfy."

Closing the door behind her she sighed, why could she not remember anything sensual between them, maybe which would happen when he returned? She wanted to blush but she couldn't she knew that they had something going on in her previous life and her body naturally made gestures and touches that she could not understand but she knew he reacted to them. She seemed so used to him and the way he acted, as well as his lack of expression but somehow she had kept all of that locked away until she met him. Met him indeed. She was so grateful for finding the man in her childhood dreams. Quickly leaving those thoughts she walked through the hallways trying to find the main hallway to the entrance and when she got there she sat in the living room after throwing away all of her uneaten food, she sat down and waited for him to come to take he for her things.

* * *

Sifting through old forgotten memories was hard, as was lifting heavy boxes while another person (male) lifted them from the upstairs to the downstairs hallway. She never knew just how many things her mother had kept until now as she looked upon towering stacks of boxes. Some harbored old books, which would soon be given away. While others took into their care things she had not remembered; things from when she had grown up with them, from when she was a child. How memories faded with time and little effort was taken to keep them fresh and alive. 

Blowing the dust off of a few things she seemingly ran across a photo album with a light blue cover. _Wedding Memories_ was written in elegant swirling script across the top in silver. Although a bit dulled with time she looked through the book. The edges were some-what discolored and stained but that did not hinder the photos inside. Pictures of her mother and father on their wedding day adored the insides of the album. Sweet photos of their reception and everything. Family members she did not recognize scattered the old book. Sighing she folded it closed as Sesshomaru's shoes could be heard climbing the small and creaky steps to her small attic. Not many had attics in Japan but then again, her family was lucky enough to own a full house and not an apartment.

Looking down at the floor to pick up a few papers that had dropped from the photo album, which she noticed were sweetly, the place cards of the bride and groom, she saw a pair of shiny black shoes in her sights. Smiling to herself she looked up to find Sesshomaru with black slacks on his hips and a nicely tight white shirt on his upper half. She noticed his features looking calculatingly at her being but she pushed it aside. She knew he was still getting adjusted to her presence in his world again and the truth be told she was doing the same thing. Oh well, they would have to get used to it some time or another.

Placing the album neatly and securely into the box she was stopped by a hand before she could close the edges of the cardboard. Looking up she met his eyes as he bent down and his head cocked itself at an odd side angle. It was as if he was questioning her actions. Soon enough she figured out what it was. Slowly he brought a hand to her face and brushed the wetness off of her cheek. She had been crying and hadn't noticed a bit.

She couldn't help but smile at his small showing of kindness. She then watched as he pulled up on his slacks so that he could easily bend down on his haunches to her level. Sometimes, she thought, he didn't even realize how much he acted like a true K-9. She would have to tell him that one day, assuredly he would be angered by this realization but he would get over it. As for right now, she was content to listen to his voice as he spoke to her.

"Stop shedding tears Rin. Now come, let's get the rest of what your keeping from this place down to the hallway. I might add that you are keeping many things, I'll let you stick it in a separate room at home so you can revisit things when you feel, alright?"

She could only reply with a nod of her head. Standing back up he gave her his hand so that she could pull herself back up as well. She did as instructed and helped move three more boxes back down to the hallway which was packed and only a small space was left to walk through to the waiting area in front of the front door. Stepping over a few boxes she set the new one she carried-Sesshomaru carried two-and placed it next to two more. She moved out of the way for Sesshomaru to place his next to and on top of her own. Looking over at him she gave a warm smile.

"Movers will be by tomorrow to get your things. I was hoping we would not have this many boxes but it seems you have the need to keep more than you should. We shall, however have your personal belongings put into the car. So lets get those to the Mercedes and then we can leave here alright?"

She just nodded her head in agreement and picked up a box full of her clothes and walked in front of him and out the door. Figuring she was stuck in the memories of this place and things she would leave behind, he decided the best thing to do would be to leave her alone. Mentally sighing he picked up another box of her clothes and followed her footfalls to his car and they proceeded to move the boxes until they were done. Locking up the house and stepping back to the car, he started the engine and they were on their way. He knew she had questions, but the one she had asked about her death would not be answered; he knew she wasn't ready so it had to be avoided this evening.

* * *

Through the entire car ride I had remained silent. So much so that every now and again he would look over at me to gauge my reactions about things. If anything I was a bit responsive when I gave him and slight smile. I had been through so many memories that night and I didn't feel in the mood to discuss anything at all. Thoughts of yesterdays floated through my mind so frequently, I feared that if he asked me a question I would forget it the next second. Funny how one can relive most of the memories of their lives in a few hours or even, so they say when you die reliving it, in mere seconds. 

I had done something similar. It was odd to think that he would be able to contain himself after not seeing me for centuries. Too bad he seemed to speak out of turn a few minutes before we reached the mansion. I really wished he would not have the said the next words to me. Maybe I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. Maybe things would have turned out for the better and not the worst.

"Your quiet Rin, it doesn't suit you. You _used_ to talk up a storm."

Honestly, I have no idea what made me burst out into tears but somehow it had to be linked to him. I stared out of the window as tears streamed down my face and I had to continuously wipe at my face with the back of my hand. It was odd; he looked over at me and didn't even say a single word. Maybe this was for the better because I feared that if he had said anything in that moment I would have yelled at him. Everything I know about him, I can only figure out through dreams when I sleep. He knows more about me than I do and that scares the hell out of me. I don't even seem to know who Iam and he does.

I know that I am here, living in the present. What I was back then, I can't keep a clear picture of. All of the things I thought I knew about myself and my own life were now void according to "back then". I'm really getting tired of hearing that. I try so terribly hard to remember things but I just can't seem to, so when he says things like that I know he cannot tell but it does take a toll on a person who is so frustrated when she herself, can't even remember it. I'm sick of how I was in those many years ago. Am I not the same but different person in this time to him? Am I not the Rin he claimed so many years prior to his existence? So many past things accumulated to my sorrow as of now and as I step out of the car to the large house I wonder if he will ever understand me again.

I went to my room first and closed my door and listened as he placed the boxes outside of my door and his footsteps were heard walking down the hallway and then...nothing. Nothing at all. I cleaned up my face and then opened my door to retrieve my boxes of clothes. After I moved them to my 'new' room I quickly looked through them. Deciding to go with red I pulled out a red v-neck silk shirt with straps and would show my mid drift. Then a pair of jeans and a really old pair of red sandals. Placing these new garments on, I added a bit of perfume I had oddly enough hurriedly stuffed into on of my boxes and brushed through my hair with my fingers before I looked in the mirror and cleaned up some of my smeared make-up and then, finally satisfied, I proceeded to walk down stairs.

Spotting him on the sofa I found him lying across the couch with his forearm over his eyes in frustration. I wanted to smile but then remembered what he had said to me in the car earlier. I know he didn't know why I had started crying or even remotely why I had even been upset by his words, but I still felt angry at him for some reason I just couldn't place it. Slowly and quietly I walked over and sat on the small glass coffee table amid all of the chairs that adorned this room and as well placed myself next to his torso where his other hand laid strewn across his midsection. Suddenly, without moving he spoke to me in muffled tones. I had almost forgotten his acute sense of smell and hearing; of course he knew where I was.

"What has happened to you?"

She honestly had no idea about how to deal with that question. She, herself, I had no idea how to take it. Was it about her being different than her past self in matters of the heart, or was it something else that he was referring to? She honestly had no clue at all what he meant by his comment.

"I honestly do not know."

Slowly his left arm lifted and his right arm extended and placed itself on my knee. I wanted to blush but somehow it seemed a bit familiar to me but once again this is one of the reasons why I had cried. I have things in my memory that a can recall but they are never actual memories. It upset me not to know about myself. Slowly, I walked over to him and as his arm came around my waist I laid my own self on top of him and placed my head upon his chest. I missed hearing a strong heartbeat and I could only smile to myself, this was what I remembered in my dreams, not myself but my feelings. We didn't speak at all we just lei there quietly listening to the now drizzling rain on the panes of the windows. Eventually, we did go out to get something to eat together, but it was a while before we even decided to move. I loved it in his arms the way I felt; loved. He never said it, at least what I new in my dreams and what I had experienced within my short time here with him that he hadn't said it. I just..._felt_ it like I did most things.

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A/N: Yeah, another chapter finished! Yippie! R and R please! 


	4. Chapter 4

**"A Life Half Undone"**

Disclaimer: You know this already….

* * *

Where we ate was quaint and quiet; nice so to say. It was small and lit mostly by candlelight. I couldn't help but smile, at least he had thought about a nice place such as this. Lightly touching his arm as they went in she was afraid that it was too late to actually walk in and find a table, but sure enough his influence was great enough that they were seated right away. So I sat down quickly in my seat and waited for Sesshomaru to take his own. Of course I like when men did things for her, but I didn't want to seem too dainty. Given the fact that I was a woman, I could also do things for myself. Slowly, he sat down and started looking at the menus that had already been placed on the table. 

Sighing to herself she placed her menu down and looked over at him. Soon enough he noticed her stares and locked his gaze with her own.

"So, Sesshomaru, how far does your influence reach?"

The only answer I got from him was a cat like smirk as he placed the menu back in front of his face and continued to read. Sighing once again for what seemed like the millionth time that day I shook my head and began to look through the entire thing. All I could see were the expensive prices of almost everything on the menu except for the water. I blanched as I slowly brought down my menu and quietly sat there awaiting his response.

"What is wrong Rin?"

I didn't want to insult him by ordering only water, but honestly I did not want to seem like a hateful woman who only wanted his money. So many thoughts had plagued me since my return to his life. How on earth did the old me stand so many ramblings? Shaking my head mentally, I looked over at him with a blush that crept to my cheeks.

"Everything is so expensive. I don't want to seem like a-"

My words were cut off by his menu making a light slap against the tables' surface. Great, now I have done something to piss him off. Just great for me to finally meet him and then anger him. Why could I have not just asked for water?!

"You may have anything you like Rin. To answer your other question, I would never think of you as a woman out to get my money. Now, quiet your tongue and pick something out."

I couldn't help but smile sweetly at him, which he of course saw and gave a gruff reply and looked about the room. What a crude creature he was but at the same time he made me smile. I hadn't done such things since my parents died. I mainly tried to stay to myself but he brought out a type of fighter within me and I couldn't help but revel in it. Halfway through the meal they had hardly said anything to one another, but as soon as she picked a lemon tart for dinner he spoke after the waiter left the table to fill her last order.

" I shall ask you a question Rin, and then after I am done and you answer, you may, in turn ask a question of your own."

It wasn't in asking but in demand, well I might as well answer the damn things so she could get to my own. Let the games begin! Shaking my head yes I then awaited his question. He seemed to contemplating what to ask before he spoke. Of course, he had ruled lands for most of his life, so contemplation was on a regular basis for him.

"Do you still love me Rin?"

She nearly chocked on air with that statement. Holy shit! Boy she was not expecting that one! WOW! If I had been eating anything I could have died. How on earth should I answer this? Technically I just met him but I have in essence known him my entire two lives! Goodness never thought I would catch myself saying that...EVER! So, I need to calm down and answer him truthfully. From what I remember of the past he doesn't like it too well when I stretch the truth. Okay, here it goes. In exhaustion from his question I started to rub the table's surface.

"Um...I don't really know."

I looked up at him to gauge his reaction. Well, it looked like he didn't seem upset, but then I saw his eyes; sadness. What had I done?

"It's not that I don't want to, of course! You say we knew one another and I know I dream about you and I together. It's just...I used to love you and I really want that again, but could you give me time to come and possibly love you again? I know you've waited hundreds of years for me, but could you give me just a few more months to remember what we had completely?"

I watched as he reached his hand across the table and grabbed my own and tugged it. Responding I got up and whilst wondering what he wanted was tossed directly across his lap. Ah! Good thing everyone else was mostly gone except for a three other couples. Mentally I swept imaginary sweat from my brain and sighed as I relaxed into his giving and caring hold. I felt as he nuzzled his nose into my neck and breathed in my scent. Boy, what a DOG! I wanted to laugh at my comment but held back when I felt his words brush against my skin.

" I won't push you to love me once again. I felt I had done that so many years ago. If you ever want to leave, know that you are free to do so. I will give you the time you desire but know that every time you deny me, the less I wish to stay here, without you."

Was he saying, in less firm words, that he would miss me and not want to live without me? What had time done to my old Sesshomaru? Tears slipped down my cheeks and I lightly gasped as wetness formed on my neck. He was kissing me or was a giving me a hicky? I couldn't help but laugh to myself through the tears. Deep down he really was more animal than a normal human being. Slowly, he left my neck and looked into my eyes.

"What have the years done to you Sesshomaru?"

He never answered me as he placed a soft kiss on my nose and wiped my tears away. One thing I had learned; I was WAY TOO emotional around him for my own liking. I ate my dessert when it came and he paid for everything even though I ended up complaining. So, we made it back to the house without words to one another. As soon as I was about to fall asleep in the room provided for me, I remembered that I hadn't asked my question. So, stepping into the large and vast expanse of his bedroom I found him on his bed with his bare back to the door and my own being. Creeping quietly I finally approached his bed but before I could say anything he spoke.

"Rin, go back to sleep."

Crossing my arms across my chest with a huff I watched as he turned over to look at me. He hadn't been asleep; I knew something was off. Bastard faking people out like that! Damn it! Could I ever win with this beast? Sitting down on his bed I then began to speak as I made myself comfortable.

"I didn't get to ask my question."

Something I hadn't seen in a while amused me well. I watched as he rolled his eyes at me. Ha! What an unpredictable demon he was. Once again, he grabbed me about my middle-making me laugh out loud-and placed me in the bed on the other side of him. I was pressed firmly to his chest and felt him push my hair away from my neck and rest his own head near my own. A breath of air swept passed my exposed neck and ear sending shivers through me. I guess that had been my queue to ask my question, so I proceeded.

"How did I die Sesshomru?"

He never answered he just made some small noise in the back of his throat. I could only elloquate it with a sort of whimper of a small dog, although he was a dog in actuality, he wasn't small by any means. I would have found it funny had it not been a small plea centered on a topic such as death. I waited in silence until he decided to speak.

"Please Rin, do not ask that of me right now. I'm not at liberty to share it with you. Something else perhaps, any other questions...just...not that one."

I then felt an arm appear around my waist that rested just below my bust line. I was a little put off by his brashness for a minute or two until I grew comfortable. I had to have experienced some degree of intimacy with this demon because he had obviously cared for me when I saw my memories. Soon I adjusted and placed my hand atop his own much larger one. It would be to most odd- to be this close to a man one has barely met- but in that moment I felt my self give a part of my heart away to him. Getting out of my thoughts that had trapped me from asking a different question, I noticed he had been waiting and I pressed on with a new inquiry.

"Was I...was I...ummm...Was I you Lady?"

Feeling him chuckle lightly against my back was a bit frightening, but also a blessed thing because I hardy was ever able to hear his laughter. In fact I know he didn't let his emotions through on most occasions but laughter was reserved for EXTREMELY rare moments. I almost wanted to laugh myself but held back because I wanted my answer as well.

"You could be nothing less. So, to your question I answer yes, we were married although most never knew it, unless they were demon and knew of your scent change and mark."

The last sentence intrigued me. A mark? I accidentally spoke allowed.

"That's why he is so enthused with my neck."

As soon as it left my lips I clamped a hand over my mouth. I didn't mean to speak out loud like that. Couldn't I catch a break or something? I swear I have the worst luck in the world. I felt him lean over me to look into my eyes and so I responded in kind and looked up at him as well.

"A mating mark is placed on an intended demon's mate while they are consummating the marriage. You had one back then and my instincts seem to want to take over. My inner demon calls you mine and recognize that you belong to me, so sensing no mark on you; it wishes to place it back. It is painful for a short while, but it won't happen again unless you're ready for it."

I gulped a bit at his statement. I had never had sex before and the thought of adding more pain to the ordeal that was already a painful thing didn't seem logical to me. I must have felt deeply for him to let him take me as his own and scar me for the rest of my life. I also noticed something else about Sesshomaru, apparently he had an inner demon that controlled all of his basic urges, well he had been able to keep it at bay so far, so it better be kept behind bars!

Lightly I yawned and he placed himself once again, behind me and pressed for me to sleep.

"Tomorrow, you and I will have a day here, by ourselves. Is that to your liking?"

I shook my head in an affirmative answer and slowly felt my eyes droop. I could not sleep yet until I asked him something.

"Will I be able to ask more questions?"

I felt a kiss on my exposed shoulder and heard a drowsy sounding voice behind me before I fell into slumber.

"Sleep dear Rin, that game is done."

* * *

A/N: Okay fluffy stuff! MWAHAHAHA! Please review and tell me what ya think! ;p 


	5. Chapter 5

**"A Life Half Undone"**

Disclaimer: I'm not putting one, so there!

* * *

I awoke to a breath being inhaled and exhaled against my hair. It tickled a bit and I couldn't help but giggle a little. My mind was a bit fuzzy but I recognized where I was after a while because I was still not used to waking up to this place yet. I yawned slightly, but that was when the sleeping beast behind me decided to make his awakened state known. I felt his words vibrate through my back as he spoke. I couldn't help but enjoy this early morning warmth. 

"Good morning Rin."

I only gave a snort as a reply. Let's just say I don't function well in the morning hours until it hits ten or so. This thought caused me to look over at the bedside table at the digital clock that read 7:45am. God, it felt like I was in school again. Groaning I pulled the covers that had gotten to my waist over my head. I felt Sesshomaru tug at the covers as I pulled back.

"No, more sleep."

He stopped and I felt him sit up as his chest left my back I felt a bit cold again, so I pulled the covers over my back as well. Why did everything remind me of him, even scents? Oh well it was too early to analyze anything. WAY too early. I listened as he spoke.

"As you wish. This is our day so if you want to sleep in bed all day, do so. I shall take a shower."

I felt grungy when he said that but I didn't move. This time when he tugged at the blankets of soft silk I let him take them away. Thankfully, he just decided to expose my from the neck up, which was an extremely good thing.

"I shall come back after I am done. In the mean time, you can watch television, listen to the radio or feel free to look around this room. I'm sure there are some things in here that might intrigue you."

Lightly he bent down and kissed my lips. It was brief and left me wanting more but I again pulled the sheets up to cover myself again. I then felt the bed rise without his weight and heard ruffling and drawers closing and opening, then nothing just footsteps. As soon as the shower started running I pulled the covers away quickly and giggled loudly to myself. I began to speak to myself, which I haven't had to do that often because I now had someone to unload on, but my thoughts were running amuck in my head.

_Wow! I love this room it's beautiful! Where did that TV. __come__ from? Oh well. I might as well explore, after all he said I could._

I felt my lips curl into that smile of someone about to do something devilish but I didn't care. Maybe I would find something about the past me? So pulling myself out of the bed I first walked to a desk that looked to be very old and made out of the finest wood. Running my fingers along its edge I came to a few drawers in its front. Sitting down in the plush black leather chair I proceeded to open the components of the desk. I noticed first, in the third draw a relatively small one; old maps. Folding them out I looked at its expanse as it fluttered an inch of two over all sides of the desk. Symbols of ancient Japanese looked back at me. I could barely make out "Western Lands" because the common style of characterization had changed since this time. So, he was Lord of he West, these must be the lands he owned.

It was filled with dates and things by circled places and tree lines with writing over them. I stopped looking after a minute or two and then again commenced looking for another door to open. One directly beneath the middle of the desk a drawer I almost missed held something I smiled at. In the drawer was a picture of Sesshomaru and the old me...I just blanched at the picture. Wow. It really was me, except my hair was longer back then and I was a few inches shorter. Tears came to my eyes and I was lifted with a gasp of my own breath onto a warm and wet lap.

"That was our first picture. Could you believe a girl from this time, who could travel to the ancient times of this photo, took it?"

Okay, I must have given him a confused look because he said he would explain it latter to me. I did, however, understand the part about a girl who could pass through time and space. Oh well. So, it was true...all of it? I then felt claws run through my hair and seemingly missing the tangles I knew it held.

"You're as lovely now as you were back then."

I replied with a quick thank you and tried not to blush at our current position. Sesshomaru with a towel around his waist and partly wet and me with morning wears sitting on his lap. Only a towel separated me from...I mentally gasped! No Rin! Bad Rin! I coughed a little and he soon stood up and placed me back on the ground.

"I see I still make you uncomfortable. I shall change in the bathroom; again, feel free to roam the room."

I just nodded my head and watched as he walked off. Then, I turned to the bookshelf near the other end of the room and smiled. At least he had occupied himself through the years somehow. A small book I soon found that had my name written on its spine was what I pulled out after scanning through the large books. It wasn't as big as the others-slightly smaller-and definitely not as thick but it had something to do with my past. I then found myself seated on the bed again but this time at its edge as I read the first page. It was as if it was written in a hurry but I could, however, make out the important kanji.

* * *

_June,_

_How odd is it that HE bought me something like this to keep my thoughts in? I'm fourteen and I don't need a diary. I suppose I could enthuse him and write in the stupid thing. Anyway, what has happened here? __Nothing much.__ He's been going on patrols without me lately and it makes me mad. I wish he would see me as a help instead of a hindrance._

* * *

I flipped through the next few until I read one with something about sixteen and I read it.

* * *

_December,_

_The snow fell heavy today. I'm glad that I received this from __Sesshomaru__. I'm surprised he doesn't read this and punish me for not putting Lord in front of his name. Oh well, he doesn't need to see this thing and to my knowledge he never EVER will. So, things around here have been good so far. The servants have been shuffling about trying to prepare the manor for more snow that __Sesshomaru__ says s on its way from his patrols. There are fewer servants than there used to be when I first got here when I was nine. Anyway, I wish he would recognize that I've become older and that I love him. Why can't he see that? _

* * *

"You may have noticed that this one does not have dust on it like the others." 

I was shocked that I had been caught but he did say I could look around, so it's his fault. However, he didn't scold me or get angry with me. What he did made me smile. He sat on the other side of me and leaned in next to me to read my own writing. I saw how sad he was. He wasn't elaborating on his statement which I took from it what I knew to be true. He had read this so many times that it never collected dist on the shelves because it was barely there. He read it a lot! I smiled to myself and flipped the page. I didn't read it but I did say something that had been bugging me all these days here.

"It's really weird to hear about things I did when I don't remember them. It's also weirder than hell to read things you supposedly wrote hundreds of years ago."

I tried to laugh it off but it wasn't working. He just looked up at me and cracked a smile and then went back to reading the page that was open. Before I could look down he had snatched it from me and threw his unused arm around my side and pulled me into him and he began to read to me quietly. Wow, never had a man read to me. I'm not a little kid but imagining the Great Sesshomaru reading to a female and a human no less was remarkable. I listened attentively as my words from then on paper, floated from his mouth and I received the emotions with every imagined stroke I wrote.

* * *

_March,_

_Being here, with him and loving him is wonderful. Sometimes we even walk in the garden and other times we just sit and he listens to me talk about my day. I swear I see him smile at my stories sometimes. He's such a proud demon though he would never admit it. I love him so much. I think sometimes, that we could be in love and that I was the first to warm his heart but other times I doubt myself. I know he cares for me, that much is evident in how he treats me but to what extent he cares for me is not known to me. I wonder if one day he'll want me the way I want him, maybe it'll happen maybe it won't. I just want this slip of paper to know that even if he finds someone else or even no one at all, I hope he's happy even if it's not me he'll be with._

* * *

I took my head away from his shoulder and looked up at him. Snapping the book shut he let me go and walked over to place the book back where it belonged. I wondered for a moment why he had put it back and not let me read the rest but then, I got my answer. 

"You ceased writing in it after this date."

I could not help but feel sorry for him. All these years spent alone and waiting for me. What devotion. I wonder if he ever said 'I love you' to me? He was so cold and stoic sometimes that in my heart I doubted it but he was good enough for me back then so why would today make any difference? Besides the fact that more woman are after him than back in those days and the fact that he now has even more money than he knows what to do with; he's still essentially the same as back then. He only has one flaw; his heart has died.

At that moment I made it my goal to watch over him. In that moment I knew that if he was special to me back then, I could at least give it a try again. In that moment I realized how the old Rin felt. Rin back then was the same as the Rin (me) right now, only she showed him her feelings eventually and I have not grown that used to him yet. I can try to love him again; I can try to make him realize his own heart again. Decision made, I slowly fell back on the bed with a small and un-lady like huff and closed my eyes in relief; relief that I had finally found my purpose in this house. A purpose I would live for, I now had something to look forward to and it felt wonderful.

When I finally opened my eyes I noticed a pair of golden ones looking straight down at me. Wait. Looking down? I then realized that he was on all fours on the bed straddling me with his hands on either side of my head. Holy hell a demon was over top of me and he looked...happy? Then, I found my answer as he spoke.

"I read that thing over and over when you left. Now, to finally have you back is feeling a bit overwhelming. I know one thing though; I never cherished you enough like I should have when I had you. I won't mistake your life again."

Then, something else amazing happened. He leaned into me and kissed me. It was a sweet kiss or soft it was demanding and somehow I didn't fight him at all. I knew that I had only met this guy a few days ago and was now underneath him receiving kisses and giving them back just as eagerly but my brain said I knew him. I trusted myself and let go. His hand then found my cheek and I felt warm all over. My heart screamed that I missed him and I couldn't help but smile. Following instincts wasn't all that bad.

* * *

After our kissing session and a quick wash up for my part I now found myself wrapped up in his arms with my fingers playing with a lock of hair that had rested near his chest. Both of us were watching the mounted flat screen T.V. which I marveled at when it was turned on. I had never experienced anything like this in my life; an old style house with new electronics. My head rested on his shoulder as his arm wrapped itself around my waist a little lighter to keep me in position. 

Our program was the morning news. And a chipped fake dye job Japanese blond began to speak about recent celebrity gossip and happenings. My least favorite part about the news. Shit everyone believes to be true displayed to the mass public.

"Sesshomaru Taisho, leader and chairman of the Taisho Industries has been reported to have gained even more wealth by buying out a subsidiary and up and coming cell phone maker, who sold his company to our richest man for a meager $2 million dollars and a percent return agreement for everyone of the cell phones sold. When will they be on the market? Well, recent interview with Taisho staff have suggested a late summer date but nothing for certain has been settled upon. These new phones will be considered high end deals in the market and revolutionary to Japanese cell phone usage. This buy out has been predicted to bring Taisho Industries a reported opening price rise of $15 million in the first year alone. So, will more of this money be used on charity? We will have to see but in the mean time it looks to be a promising year for the staff of Sesshomaru Taisho once again. Now, back to you Maiko..."

Before the woman could take over with more news the television was cut off from its feed. I looked over at him as he grabbed my waist tighter and nearly drew blood. I didn't understand what had upset him so much until he decided to finally give me a bit of room to physically move by a couple of inches.

"I don't want you to take much of this money to heart. I could care less if I lost it all tomorrow; you matter, not the money. Always understand that. Are we clear?"

I just shook my head in agreement and then he chose to speak again.

"Also, you may note that tabloids blow everything out of proportion, so if you see a picture of me with a woman or something that looks to be deceiving know that it is not true. I don't care about money or anyone else but you. Tell me you understand."

"Yes, Sesshomaru."

He then finally loosened his grip on my waist and turned the television back on. I knew most of the gossip in any magazine was that, just gossip. It wasn't to be trusted but I guess he showed that he cared through saying those things. I smiled to myself as the snuggled into him and heard him growl but not in pain or anger but pleasure. My influence stretched farther than I initially thought. Wow. Another thing the lady spoke of was charity...so Sesshomaru had been giving away his money as well. That small thought of him caring enough to give at least some of his money to less fortunate made me smile; all the more reason to be eager to love him again.

We spent the rest of the day in that bedroom and no one disturbed us except for his cell phone going off a few times but he only answered 'yes' or 'no' and then immediately hung up. I suppose when your rich and own the most powerful company in a country you would be obligated to pick up the phone every once and a while. I did get to ask him more questions about his family, and his brother as well as his brother's mate and how she could travel through time. She had had the Shikon shards and more about Midoriko and Kikyo was known to me. I never mentioned my necklace, I supposed he would tell me when he was ready but I had a feeling it had to do with my death, so I wouldn't touch that subject.

As well, I had desperately wanted to tell him about the necklace I saw in my dreams, but I held my tongue. Some things I knew were best left unsaid but I also knew that it wasn't a good thing to keep secrets from him when I knew it would ensure his anger. Decidedly I chose to keep my own words on the subject. I had been getting that weird feeling in my dreams again and I undoubtedly knew that the necklace had to do with my death so I chose not to speak about it because of that fact.

* * *

A/N: The chapters just keep coming! You know what to do...big cheesy smile 


	6. Chapter 6

**"A Life Half Undone"**

* * *

Weeks passed and the tabloids ran rampant wondering who I was. I ignored them like I had been told and we were even "seen" walking to restaurants together and kissing in public. Truth be told, every day I woke up in that house knowing that he was in the same place as me was comforting. I started having my dreams and they now had nothing in them. It was just me sitting and waiting for his return every night I fell to sleep. It was odd but in my dreams I could feel my heart die a little when he did not return. The constant worrying in the dreams too its toll on my in the actual "real" world.

I would often find myself wondering if he was alright, like I would wait for him to stop his battle for Naraku. It was stressful as hell and in my dreams I felt uneasy about something. In my memories I _knew_ someone was watching me every time I walked down a hall or went to bathe. I felt scared, alone and so saddened. The next month I was with Sesshomaru in this time, I had a grand memory that night. In my memory I was dreaming of the first time Sesshomaru and I had made love and the mating mark he gave me. It caused me to wake up in a sweat with fevered breathing and with achy thighs and neck. I felt embarrassed but Sesshomaru came in and helped me into the shower to cool off. I never told him the real memory; I just told him it was explicit in nature. Then, before he closed the bathroom door for me to commence undressing and begin my shower, he cracked a smirk at me and said: "I remember that night and as well you should. We'll have one better than that soon enough." Then, he was gone.

I wanted to beat the shit out of him but I held back and stepped into the shower. I felt awkward knowing and feeling sensations that I had been through hundreds of years prior to now. If he could do that just through a dream in a memory alone, I often wondered what it would really be like, especially after all of these years. I am a virgin but still I wanted to be married with children one day and sex would be a part of that, I knew, but I giggled to myself often when I thought about it. All that pent up energy would have to make for fabulous bedroom activity.

Imagine how surprised I was when it actually happened for real, in this time period a few months six after being with him and spending my time with the Great Lord Sesshomaru. We talked about a lot of things, well me mostly asking questions but still it felt like an old habit coming out of the wood works. I even had the mark again. I didn't like wearing revealing things and even Sesshomaru thought it best that I didn't go out in public with something that could show it unless I wanted cameras in my face. Plus, he said he wasn't ready to send me off into the paparazzi frenzy as his new "play thing" as they would most likely call me.

He did confess something to me one night after our physical activity. He was lying opposite me looking up at the ceiling with him trying to regain his breath. I was proud of myself that even I, a mere human, could do that to him. When he spoke it had a certain air about it but also it was a little low as well. Proud, yet demure.

"You're my mate now, well again I hope you realize."

I didn't say anything I just looked over and smiled widely at him and I think he understood. In that moment, I knew I had fallen in love with him but I just couldn't get the words out. I sighed a little and felt a hand creep to my lower abdomen. It felt weird having him touch me like that. I think in my heart I knew what he was about to say but I kept my words to myself and awaited his voice to rise.

"You never had the chance to give me pups Rin."

I felt a little lost at this point. What was I to say to that? Sorry I died on you? I felt so frustrated in that moment that I tossed his hand away from me and rolled over on my side facing the wall. I knew he felt a little peeved about it but I didn't know what to do when he brought up my death yet I couldn't say a word about it because I knew he wasn't ready. I felt...alone. Stupid that you would feel alone with someone you loved but this was a key part of my being and I still could not get an answer. Then, I felt a hand stroking my upper arm as a low voice reverberated in my ears.

" I know...what I say upsets you but soon enough you shall know how you died. I _refuse_ to let you die on me again Rin. Just know that when you have the memory of your death, just know that guilt has harbored my heart for all this time. Goodnight."

* * *

The very next morning he had to go to work. I knew what I had to do. I didn't want to leave him again but he had told me that I could if I wanted to. So, making a choice I picked out a few things (essentials mostly) and made my way to the front of the house. Before I could get there I remembered something I had wanted to research more; the Shikon Jewel and my necklace.

Stepping to his bedroom I quickly found the shelves of books and scrolled through them until I came upon one about Western Lands Lore. Taking it out carefully I blew off the dust and smiled at the neat and delicate gold characters. I flipped through he fables until I came upon the jewel. Reading all of the standard stuff about Midoriko, the crusades Sesshomaru had told me about with Kagome, I then came upon a subtext about the necklace I had been given by Sesshomaru in my memories.

_The Jewel of Fours Souls was placed within a small wooden box. It is not an especially made item it is plain. It is said that a great war was fought over a single key. A key which could be given to anyone, but the person whom had it could have access to the __Shikon__ Jewel within the box. Only a pure heart could make the key diverge the purification energy placed on it by __Midoriko__ and her ancestors. This key, in prospect, held the delicate balance of demons and humans, but once placed around the neck of a pure heart it would spell the end for its protector. _

I slammed the book closed in that moment and sighed. I knew it had to do with my death but the details had yet to appear to me. I suppose if I left I would make Sesshomaru unhappy but as well, he refused to tell me my death. Did he just not care about my needs after I gave him my body and soul? Stuffing the book back into the shelf I felt tears come to my eyes after I stepped out of the front door and looked back at the large mansion that held my memories and past. I felt I would be better without it, but I knew my heart yearned to go back in and tear up the letter I had written him on his return and stay for the rest of my days. Slowly, I walked away from the house as tears spilt over my eyes and I turned toward a rainy sky and thunder rolling behind me. It was winter...how odd that it thundered.

* * *

A/N: REEEEEEEEEEVIEW!


	7. Chapter 7

**"A Life Half Undone"**

**Disclaimer:** Everyone knows it so I'm not puttin' it!

* * *

When he came to the mansion, he knew something was off. As he stepped in he was not greeted with a chipper Rin with glowing brown orbs looking up at him. He was not met with a smile or even a frown. She must have still been upset about what he said. Of course she would be mad. He still hadn't told her about her death and she had to know something like that. He had wanted to wait until she remembered it to tell her his side but it took a toll on her.

Soon though, he sniffed the air and she was no where around the house. If she hadn't been at the door in previous days he would have just smelt where she was; the kitchen, the bedroom...something always assaulted his senses but not this time. This time...he was met with simply nothing. She had left? She had left.

"She left me again."

The largest sigh with a bit of sadness floated away from the ancient Lord's lips. It was a sight to see a demon drop his things on the floor and blindly walks up a set of stairs and then to his own room. Her scent lingered here the most. So, lightly he fell onto the bed. She had actually left him. Again, one thought floated through his mind. "I fucked up. I fucked up."

He had tried so hard to keep her, but in the end he lost her again. He wouldn't bother looking for her; he knew she was not in danger, except from the elements and nourishment. If she wanted to leave he would let her go. Of course he left her to her actions and thoughts and of course he would miss her and worry about her but he also knew that she had made a choice to leave and he had given it to her. Were they never meant to find one another? Were they never meant to be at all?

It seemed that every chance he had with her, he lost. It was a horrible feeling to smell her scent and remember how her body felt underneath his own. It was a punch to the stomach when he remembered her voice when she called on his name in passion and in love. Stepping away from the bed he went downstairs to get his things back. There was work that had to be done and maybe he could keep his mind off of her if only for a short while. Before he left the room he finally saw the letter on her side of the bed. Picking it up he found neat lettering on the front in English this time.

_Sesshomaru_

How he could only imagine what she felt when she wrote this. He could however, imagine how her name sounded on her lips. In his mind and his heart he could actually _feel_ how she had when she wrote it. Her words almost echoed in his head.

_Sesshomaru,_

_Let's just save face. This isn't a page of a Diary for you to read but read it or not it is to you. I have felt so much by being near you and sharing things with you over these few months. I have to say sometimes I wanted to kill you and other times I wanted to seize you into a blaring kiss and stream of passion. So sorry that I had to leave you again, but I can't be with you if you don't tell me things. It's winter, know what? You left me alone in winter months a lot, so here's the favor returned. Will I ever return? I don't know maybe one day, maybe never. Just know that...I love you. I found that out the first day I woke up next to you when we had our only day together; just for us. _

_Sweet wishes,_

_Rin_

She loved him? Again? He wanted to smile so badly at her confession but he couldn't because she was not here. Of course he felt hurt but she had left him and that was that. He had tried to keep her again, like last time but again he failed. In that moment he hardened his heart over for however long she decided to stay away. If it were to be forever, then so it should be that he would remain once again, cold and uncaring towards every living thing except his dear Rin.

* * *

That night was horrible. I remember it so vividly and clearly it was as if it had happened for a second time. My death was horrid. I had tried to get him out of my mind and heart but he just wouldn't release his grasp over my fragile heart. I wanted to laugh as I curled up in my small apartment. Some how I had managed to find a job and hold it long enough to pay for my rent of this small dump and a bit of food every week. It was different from eating charges on cards and small pieces of plastic with hundreds of thousands behind each swipe. It was living though and she was surviving just barely.

She had just gotten back from work and into her apartment as her stomach growled in protest, but she knew she had nothing. Slipping into her change of pajamas she laid herself on her small and meager cot and looked up at the ceiling that was pealing panels of paint and a bit of mold was housed at the corner of the wall. How had she gotten here? Well, she had left Sesshomaru which she thought was the best but her heart ached for him. She missed him, she knew, but she didn't want to go back to him. Sesshomaru, a man who told her nothing, a man who refused to tell her about her own demise. She couldn't go back to a liar that was for sure.

Tears stung her eyes as her world captured black and she fell into a restless sleep. Her death seemed a far cry from lying, no wonder he didn't want to tell her. No wonder he wanted to keep her from knowing. He wasn't there to hold her or tell her to cease crying because he simply wasn't there to help her heal. What in the hell had her life been back then? She knew she loved him but the things she did in her previous life made her actions to leave him petty in nature and selfish to boot.

* * *

_**She had been bathing when the odd feeling of dread came over her. She knew someone was watching every single move she made, yet she could never catch them in the act. It was discerning and uncomfortable to feel another's eyes on you and not being able to do anything about it. Quickly she rinsed the soap from her body and hair and sat back for a bit of a soak as she played with the necklace around her neck.**_

_**Who knew he would give me something important to him? I hope he is al right wherever he finds himself. Why am I worrying so much? He is a powerful demon and I know I shouldn't but I still do. After all, he is my mate and I love him to the most extent. I just wish he would get back soon and make this terrible and dreadful feeling leave my heart. Someone is there but I don't know who.**_

_**I felt something in my hair and went to brush it out but in that instant I was lifted from the tub kicking wildly. Screaming because of the pain and the knowledge of finally being captured, yet again, by someone I found despicable and undeserving of any life that had ever been breathed into his worthless body. A chuckle was heard as I was placed onto the cold stone of the bath house. I knew who this bastard was. **_

_**"Your back again I see **__**Naraku**__**? Come to steal my soul away?"**_

_**Again my hair was jerked back so that now I saw his features upside down. He had an unhealed cut across his right eye and I smiled to myself. **__**Sesshomaru**__** must have gotten to him with his claws. I had to admit to myself that **__**Naraku**__** was a lucky bastard for getting away before the rest of the poison ate away his features. I could feel my lips want to hint at a smile but I kept it back.**_

**_"You think I want your sad and pure soul? No, of course not my lovely Rin_**

**_He then let go of me and started walking around me. I knew I couldn't make a break for it or try and defeat him, although I wanted to really badly. I held my position knowing well that Sesshomaru would be hot on his trail along with Inuyasha and others who had joined the group effort to defeat Naraku. The words that left my mouth were not helped and I paid for it with a slap across my face._**

**_"Don't you ever just die when your soul is wrangled to the depths of hell?"_**

**_Yeah, I felt his hand but the price was worth the taunt._**

_**"Poor dear Rin**** Apparently your mate never taught you how to keep your tongue although Sesshomaru has always had a taste for the innocent and quick witted types. I admire your power Rin. You single handedly brought a powerful demon to his knees without your own knowledge; clever girl."**_

**_I then watched as his hand came to my face and brushed my hair behind my back. Then, it came to the cheek he had struck and I wanted to cry to myself. I didn't want to die and I sure as hell didn't want him touching something that only Sesshomaru should. Soon his hand slid from my face to my neck, over my mating mark and then to the necklace around my neck._**

**_"Ah, here it is. What I seek is this dear girl. Your necklace holds the key inside to retrieve the Shikon Jewel from its depths in the accursed purified box."_**

**_I loved this necklace but how on earth did Naraku find out about it when Sesshomaru had been the only one to carry it all of these years? He never fought for it before then, so why now?_**

**_"It's precious to you, is it not?"_**

**_Too bad for him I kept quiet, he didn't seem to mind my scowl in his direction._**

**_Sesshomaru gave it to you no doubt. Unfortunately, your lowly dog is pressed for time to save you and yet, he doesn't even know of the peril you are in at this moment. So sad. Well, I'll be needing your services to open the Shikon box because, you should know, when it opens it releases purification energy that is dangerous to us...black-hearted individuals; demons so to say. Only a pure heart can open the box but as well they are doomed to die."_**

**_I was shocked! Holy hell! Sesshomaru seemed to have left that part out. How could he leave it out, it was important. My eyes grew wide. _**

**_"Ah, your precious lover did not tell you that detail because even he does not know it. None of this is important though. You open the box for me and die or I kill you right here and take the necklace myself. Either way you die, it is just a small matter of how you want to go that makes all of the difference. Your decision is your own. I warn you though; my hands are not blissful in touch."_**

**_Either way I was screwed. I didn't want to help him out, but I knew that if I died it would give Sesshomaru and the others time to get here. Also, if worst came worst I would bring him down with me and that was my plan. At least I would be helping Sesshomaru instead of holding him back with my human existence._**

**_"Al right I'll open it for you."_**

**_He chuckled to him self and placed his hand on my shoulder. A sadistic smile graced his lips and I wanted to just get the death over with but I knew he wouldn't let me just die. He would make me suffer._**

_**"Wise choice lovely Rin**** Why, if you weren't about to die I would have you luscious body pressed into this stone. Oh well, I can't have all that I want. Let's go."**_

**_The thought of him touching me like Sesshomaru had was disgusting and I visibly shivered. He of course, thought my display of being grossed out was funny. Latching onto my arm he made both of us disappear. Holy hell it hurt. I was thrown into a wooden wall and as my head cracked against it I heard his words._**

**_"Painful to travel such a way as that with a human body. You'll get over it soon enough now get up."_**

**_As I was about to stand I heard him walk over to something and pick it up. As soon as his hands reached a small wooden box the room was up in shambles. I wanted to cry when I heard Inuyasha yelling at someone and a soft "Hn" resounding in my thoughts. Sesshomaru had tracked Naraku and the rest of the rag-tag group had followed suit. Maybe I was to be able to get away but as I was about to run a streak of white flashed in front of me and I was grabbed again by Naraku and we disappeared. _**

**_I opened my eyes when I felt arms around my waist and felt the flapping of fabric against my frame. I knew when I saw black hair I was not in the arms of an ally. No, it was Naraku and I coughed a bit. I hurt so badly to be teleported around like that, it took so much away from my body. Tears stung my eyes but yet I couldn't keep them back._**

**_"Look dear Rin, we have guests."_**

**_As I heeded his words I found Kagome easily in her odd clothing and Sango in her exterminator attire. The others were an older Shippo and a monk smiling up at me. Pervert. I was still without clothing. I was dirty and I knew I felt blood somewhere in my hair and as well in other places I knew had been scratched when I had been tossed away. Two heads of silver took my eyes away from the large demon cat named Kirara_**

**_I saw Inuyasha yelling at Sesshomaru still but he wasn't paying attention at all. Sesshomaru was looking straight up at my position floating in the evening horizon of the sky. Even with a cut on his cheek he looked handsome. No doubt he was worn out but still he had come for me and I was happy. More tears slipped away from me and I just felt like letting go at that moment but Naraku held me in place with the box in his other hand._**

_**"Now Rin, I would not want to have to kill you before you had the pleasure of getting rid of yourself now would I? Of course not dear Rin**** Come and open this box now."**_

**_I just lay there in his arms limp. I didn't want to help him but I thought of my plan and smiled to myself. At least I could get rid of him in the process. Motioning for him to give me the box, he did not; he did however hold it for me. I knew what he was going to do. He would hold the box and the second I turned the key he would drop me and hope that it would engulf Sesshomaru and Inuyasha as well. I may have not known everything but I knew enough. _**

**_Before I could grab my necklace from around my neck a streak of silver flew past me and once again I felt the pain of disappearing. When I reappeared I coughed but this time blood came onto my hands and chin. What was this doing to me?_**

**_"Inuyasha, make an attempt like that again and young Rin here will die soon enough. You see her body cannot take the disappearing acts. I am a demon and my body being split can heal itself, even a half demon at that, but not a poor human. Now, Rin open the box so you can die."_**

**_Everyone looked at one another and then to Naraku_**

**_"I haven't explained that have I?"_**

**_Inuyasha was the first to speak as always._**

**_"Why do you have Rin? What do you need her for?"_**

**_A sadistic laughed barked its way to my ears and I couldn't help but wince. _**

**_"She is the main piece of my return. You see, young Rin here is pure of heart and was given the necklace that opens the box that harbors the Shikon no Tama. Only a pure being can open the box for it releases purification energy that absorbs demons and as well who ever opens the box. It in essence spells doom for the pure hearted."_**

**_Everyone gasped except for Sesshomaru and me. I knew about it and he did not but it wasn't in his nature to show surprise._**

**_"Forgot to tell her that part when you gave it to her? Oh that's right Sesshomaru, when Midoriko gave you the necklace to keep she hadn't told you either. Pity this girl is a lovely replica of the perfect breeding stock."_**

**_Sesshomaru could be heard growling and Inuyasha was throwing curse words and bitter replies._**

**_"You're sick Naraku_**

**_After he uttered those words, everyone went silent. Sesshomaru starred at me and I couldn't help but look back. I knew he didn't want me to do this or much of anything. He would figure it out because he was a mighty and powerful demon, but that was what he knew and not what I knew to be true about this situation. I knew better. I knew I wouldn't be making it out either way. It was to bring Naraku down or hurt him a bit and let everyone else finish him off for good, or I just give him the pleasure of killing me and possibly the others. I couldn't take the chance. That's when my mind was made up I stopped my tears and heard Sesshomaru speak._**

**_"Do not give him what he wants Rin. You are to stay by my side forever, do you hear me?"_**

**_I just looked at him and smiled and took the necklace from around my neck and gave it to Naraku who cut it open with a sharp tentacle. I knew most of them did not understand the situation except for Sesshomaru. I watched as Inuyasha started to ingest what was happening and when Kagome tugged on his haori he explained it to her. She looked horrified. I then took the key given to me back by Naraku and sighed heavily to myself._**

**_"Rin, you will obey me! Put it down NOW Rin_**

**_Still I did not listen to him. For some reason as my hands neared the box I felt warmth spread over me and something reassured me that I would be rewarded if I could take a piece of Naraku down with me. Something told me that even though I would die everything would cease to be war for a while afterwards. I couldn't help but smile to myself. It was so warm and loving. I heard him though but I didn't see the tears in his eyes._**

_**"Rin**** You are mine! Now do as I say and leave it alone! Rin! Do not leave me alone!"**_

**_I let his words drift away from me as I felt the key insert into the small latch and a faint click was heard and I felt myself slip from Naraku's grasp but instead and amongst the bright light flowing from the box and searing into my skin I held onto him as we both fell. I had to take most of his strength away. I reluctantly let my hands grasp the top of the box and lift it open in severity. More light poured from it and I heard Naraku scream in pain. In that instant I knew I was al right, like the voice had foretold. I had finally done something and all of the pain from the light that poured into my skin faded away and I was happy. _**

**_Then, suddenly the box hit the ground and soon enough my body as well. Naraku must have landed away from me. The jewel I watched crack to the ground and roll in front of my vision but I could do nothing. I tried to make a noise but I could not. Suddenly shuffles were heard and Kagome ran in front of my vision knowing she couldn't let Naraku get to the gem and luckily he was away from it and in too much pain to get to it. I had done something to help others and I couldn't be any happier even near death._**

**_I looked up and saw stars above me and knew it was night. Then, my vision was interrupted by golden orbs. Sesshomaru, but he turned his head away from me when Inuyasha called his name._**

**_"She wounded Naraku pretty good, lets end this now!"_**

**_He reluctantly stepped away from me and I heard the ground rip and lightening gather in the heavens and watched it streak above me. Then, I heard...silence. No menacing laugh or sounds of swords clashing. I closed my eyes to take in everything that had just happened. He was gone and nothing could top this moment, well maybe mating with Sesshomaru but that was completely different. I laughed to myself but found it hurt to even look around. More shuffling was heard and I knew all eyes were on me now. _**

**_Too bad I was only able to see golden eyes again looking at me for a split second before my eyes would let me see no more. The light was back but this time it didn't engulf my skin, it warmed me inside._**

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I awoke to sweat covering me and a gasp from my throat. I had been singed to death. How on earth had I managed to stay alive for a few more minutes? Now I know why Sesshomaru just looked at me the first time. He couldn't touch me; my skin would literally peel off like a bad burn. I had heard of cases so bad that the victim in a fire had skin scorched so bad that it rubbed off on the firemen's clothes but never did I think it would happen to me. I felt kind of glad that I didn't go with pain.

Something came over me an instant later and I began to sob uncontrollably. My mind froze as I let everything out I had been holding in for hundreds of years. He wasn't here to help me. I missed him so much. I needed him with me again. The final piece of my past was with me and my heart ached for his being next to me; my soul remembered all of him.

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A/N: I know I haven't updated in...well a LONG time, but hey cut me some slack. :-) You know what to do after you read this line.


	8. Chapter 8

**"A Life Half Undone"**

Disclaimer: It's there; it's just invisable!

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It had been another day without her. Three months now she had been gone and to him it seemed another eternity. Every passing day blended into the next and nothing seemed on track anymore. His days at work no longer meant anything because it used to signify that once he left the stifle of the city, he would be able to meet her bright eyes when he arrived at home; it wasn't going to happen anymore. Sure, when he had first been without her, he figured she would recognize her need of him and come back. He waited and then after a month he knew she would not be making any more appearances around him.

Hopes, he had always believed, were for creatures that had no connection with reality. That was his belief, until she had left him and he found himself hoping that she would come back again. A lot of 'maybe' would fly through his head at night when he didn't hear his door creek open or smell the scent of her hair as she quietly crept into his bed. He seemed to be in more of a day dream type state while at work. Of course he had to approve things and be on time for appointments about the companies standings and such but none of that ever mattered more than when he would look out of his office window and wonder if she were walking up here to meet him. Of course he knew she had never been here -she had always stayed at the mansion- but hope springs eternal as they say.

He would often find himself reading her letter over and over trying to grasp some clue as to where she had gone but nothing ever turned up. Then again, she had left out of free will and that signified her resistance to coming back to him. He knew that keeping things from her was not a good idea, old Rin or her reincarnation, neither liked to be let out of the loop on anything. So, he had again failed at keeping her buy his side because of his refusal to think anything could go wrong as long as he was near. However, both times he had cheated death and she hadn't. She died as a child after helping him live, the second time he had escaped battle and she had been the cost of his survival.

Given that at both of her passing's she had fought to get to him, he knew that ultimately his decisions had led to her demise. Such guilt was place upon his shoulders and when he had been given the third chance of his life, he still could not keep it. Wonderings if demons were really better than humans ran a mock in his mind. He had been given more than "another shot" to have her and it slipped past him.

So, now what was he to do? He had awaited her presence for hundreds of years and now he was no longer with her. Slipping out of his work clothes and into more relaxed attire (as she had called it) he stepped into his living room and rested his weary body along the length of the couch, just like he had done the first day they had gone out together. He honestly half expected to have her come down the stairs but alas, she did not. He had tried several times to get rid of the ridiculous thoughts of mourning for a human but he had been waiting so long that nothing but her mattered anymore. Sure, he had wanted to go and get her but why he had given her the option of leaving him he could not figure out and he mentally beat himself up about that detail all of the time.

After flipping through one channel after another and finding nothing even remotely interesting to watch he sighed a bit and headed to his room. Yes, it was _his_ room now and not _theirs_ anymore. Lying in the bed between the silken sheets he felt an odd sensation crawl through his entire body. This feeling was harsh and sharp and unwanted all at once. It was only a split second of rash pain but it had been there all the same. Then, as he began to lay back after sitting up from the jolt of pain his heart felt odd. Then, he noticed this feeling, it was exactly like the one he had after Rin died the second time...a heavy heart.

Sleep, the demon Lord knew, would not be coming any time soon. Growling in frustration he rolled over on his side and closed his eyes. Little did he know that the girl plaguing his thoughts right now had caused his feeling to worsen. Both seemed to be reliving her death, only he wasn't there to stroke her hair and tell her she was alive. He just...wasn't there.

* * *

_**He had helped **__**Inuyasha**__** bring down **__**Naraku**__** and now he knew he was gone for good. His precious **__**Rin**__** had had seen to that. Quickly he ran back to her. Her body was burnt from the light that had emitted from the box and he just wanted to reach her and save her. He could only bring someone back once, this he knew, but the will to keep her near him was unbending. As soon as he knelt down to look at her and he met her eyes for a few seconds and she was gone.**_

_**Her face was mostly intact but her arms were burnt just like the rest of her and even more so. His **__**Rin**__** was brave enough to help them out. He wanted to hold her but he knew he could not. He felt liquid mar his vision and knew they were tears. He knew she would not want to come back in this state but he wished he could bring her back. He already missed her as his mate in his heart.**_

_**He then took off his **__**haori**__** and covered her dead body with it when the others decided to come and see. They hadn't noticed what her body looked like before they ended the petty half breed's life, so them seeing her was not an option. They did not deserve to look upon his fallen mate in pity or more likely disgust. After their apologies about his loss they left him. He carried her all the way to their home and buried her near her favorite Cherry Blossom tree. She loved spending her days here and even though it was in clear site of his balcony she called it her secret spot. **_

_**They had both enjoyed days under the old tree and he now held onto those memories because she was now dead. No more smiles or laughter. No more exhausting nights together. Mate was no longer used. His inner demon yearned to have her back as well but he knew it wasn't going to pan out the way he had thought. It was different and it was unacceptable. **_

_**

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**_

_****_

Waking up he clasped a hand over his forehead. He was so tired of blaming himself for her death but he could do nothing but that for the past years he lived without her. If he had been there sooner or knew more than he had about the necklace he would have never given it to her in the first place. He had even traced his steps back to the tree Bokusen-oh who immediately noticed his presence and also that of the absence of the human girl.

_**"Where is the beautiful maiden you introduced me to a few years ago? Did you leave her behind so this old fool of a spirit could not lay eyes on **__**her.**__** I know how much you valued her young **__**Sesshomaru**__**. Like a trinket I suppose."**_

_**The demon lord looked wearily at the aging tree. Then, his eyes found a tree to the left to occupy his sight with while he spoke.**_

_**"She was no mere trinket. She was valued enough by this **__**Sesshomaru**__** to become my mate a while after our visit with you."**_

_**He heard the tree chuckle and its leaves shook as a light breeze blew in the air around them.**_

_**"You finally found your heart and for a human no less. When shall the small **__**hanyou's**__** be playing around my trunk?"**_

_**The demon did not wish to answer the old tree but he did anyway. **_

_**"There shall be no **__**pups**__** old tree, she died two weeks ago."**_

_**He watched the tree this time as it sighed and then spoke softly.**_

_**"Your mate was the cause of the light days ago, was she not?"**_

_**He did not speak, he only nodded.**_

_**"Poor child.**__** You cannot bring her back. I am sorry I can not be of any help to you."**_

**_The tree then disappeared and turned to normal. He knew deep down that nothing would bring her back. The Great and powerful Lord of the West would wait out her reincarnation. After all, Kagome came to Inuyasha, so could Rin not come back as well. Stepping away from the tree he made up his mind for the first time in two weeks. Waiting was the new desire of Sesshomaru_**

* * *

He quietly found his way out of bed and to the room that she had stored her things in from her move to his home. Quickly he found his way to the light switch and looked at the piles of boxes that still had written lettering on them. Scanning the room he came across one that had nothing on it. Looking in he found a video camera and some plastic cases with what looked to be small discs. Grabbing the box he stepped back into his room after flipping off the light to the room.

Walking over to his desk he placed the box on the side and opened his laptop. He had always cursed the thing until now. Maybe he would see her family or something like a trip. Taking the disk out of the case (they were listed by dates on the top of the disk) he placed it into his computer and waited for it to load. When it started he could not help but feel alone again.

* * *

Watching as a black mass covered the lens of the camera he saw a flash of an arm and then a few clicks on the camera that was being bombarded by sighs of defeat. Slowly, a girl backed up and caught his attention. She was around the age of twelve in this recording. Wearing a light yellow sun dress he watched as she sat down in a white wooden chair in the middle of a blue painted room. Sighing, she began to speak and everything around him faded away.

_"Wow, this feels stupid. My mother told me that I should keep a diary or something, but that's too easy for someone to find. These little tapes are better 'cause you can hide them and stuff. Anyway, so what's been happening with me you may ask? Well, is anyone really going to see this, I wonder who I'm seeking to right now...my parents maybe, no their not here anymore. Maybe I'm speaking to me when I'm older. I wonder how old I am watching this. I don't know but I could be speaking to a lover. If I'm speaking to someone I love then I'll be the first to say I know I don't look the same as I do in the time that you're watching this."_

_Looking around the room for something she sighs and silence issues. Then, she finally looks straight into the lens as if she was once again with him only at a younger age. It was odd but fascinating at the same time. _

_"My parents are dead. Wow. That feels kind of good to say out loud. Not that I wanted them to leave, of course not, but I've been holding that in for a long time ya know...? You know, I'm always told that I'm too young to understand things, but I think grown-ups sometimes misread us kids. It's not that we know so little, it's that we don't know enough. Maybe one day, the person looking at this right now will smile at me in my young mind wonderings. I hope they smile at me and get some enjoyment out of this, because right now I feel like a moron talking to myself."_

_She scratched her chin in contemplation before she spoke again._

_"I don't know why I'm just now getting to this after my mother, before she left here, told me to hundreds of times but I never did until now. Odd how when things are to be done and you put them off, only to realize the significant of them later when it's too late. I must seem odd to whoever is watching this, at least to have these thoughts at only the age of twelve. I've been through a lot in my young years and I have grown up I fear, more than I should. A little like growing up before your time."_

_Again she sighed and looked about the room._

_"Well, I think I've said enough for this day. September 20th. Don't know when I'll get back to this, but we'll see next time shall we?"_

_She approached the camera and a few clicks again were heard until the screen went blank. _

_He only had to wait a few more minutes until the next screen was shown to him. He knew her age in this one as well. Fourteen. She had grown somewhat in the body area but also her hair had gotten longer and darker it seemed to him. Dressed in a simple blue pair of jeans and a nice turtle neck red sweater she sat down in the same chair as the first entry. It must have been winter because she held a cup of steaming liquid in her hands._

_Quickly she put it to her lips and sipped a few drops and then looked at the camera._

_" I have to keep this short because some shit I have to do. Anyway, so how's it been? I guess some more stuff happened. I'm going to start high school next year, so yeah I guess I'm excited. A new chapter in my life, or so I've heard. So, to you watching, how's it been? I know its been a long time since I said anything but oh well I'm determined to at least update this damn thing once a month ya know? To keep you alive on the other side of this lens...haha_

_She chuckled to herself and he found he had laughed a little too. She then took another sip of her drink and smiled. _

_"It's snowing for one of the few times here in Tokyo. I'm definitely excited about that. Wanna see?"_

_Placing her cup somewhere off screen she then reached in front of the lens and the camera grew shaky as it was walked over to her window. Pulling back a small curtain she lifted it to the window and sure enough a blanket of white adorned the streets and her outside windowsill. She scanned it upwards to get the trees and everything. _

_"Wonderful isn't it? I hope I still like the snow no matter how old I get."_

_Walking back over she placed the camera onto its tripod and fixed her sweater a little before she again took to looking at the camera._

_"Things that have happened. Things that have happened! OH! Yeah, I met a boy."_

_Sesshomaru found himself growling at the screen he watched. Then he watched as her eyes grew big._

_"Oh, I have to go. More on this, hopefully next month if I keep this stuff up. Oh bye the way it's the day before New Years! So, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO WHOMEVER YOU ARE!"_

With that the camera was abruptly turned off. He wanted to know about the **boy** she was excited to speak about. Maybe the next one would hold the information he needed to run to the now grown man's house and strangle him. Unfortunately, nothing was held for that in the next one. The next one was labeled for the next month and he watched as this time, she held the camera with her hands.

_"Hello again. Seems I have kept my promise after all. Ha, lucky you I don't keep them well."_

_That sentence caused him to smirk. True when she said she was going to do something she usually forgot about it._

_"Anyways, nothing really has happened. My New Year's resolution didn't turn out too well. I promised myself that before the month of January was over I would find someone special just for me. Turns out, it's mid February and I'm afraid I've failed. Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever felt that the one person for you wasn't out there?"_

_She was silent for a little while, and then oddly enough she laughed a bit at the camera before resuming looking at it again._

_"I know I'm young, but it gets to me. They always say you have to wait for love to find you, you cannot find it. I wonder if their have ever been any exceptions to that rule? I wonder if one day, I go searching if I'll end up with someone for me? Ever wondered about being alone for the rest of your life? I have. It feels odd to think that you will never find someone, but maybe I should just give up, maybe I missed that person somewhere. Maybe I passed them on the street and didn't pay enough attention to them to create something to even begin to want."_

How hurt he felt when she said that. He had often thought to just give up on finding her. More times than he could count he had just mentally given up only to be wanting in the end enough to keep the hope alive. How he had wanted to find her and when his searches ended up blank reality would break in and tell him his search was impossible. Good thing he never listened to it. He had more often than not felt alone. For so many years he had waited; so many sleepless nights wondering about her.

_"So, anyway...um...gee seems I can't think of anything else to say. Oh well, you know what? I think that that someone is still out there, I just don't know when or where it will happen, but when it does I'll be the happiest person on the planet in that moment. Gotta go, see ya_

With that the camera was abruptly turned off and he was left to his thoughts once again. Then, suddenly the camera flipped back on and a much older Rin met his gaze. Her beauty reigned through the lens as he looked upon a woman of sixteen years; in fact that's how it started.

_"I'm sixteen now! Whoooo_

_Smiling brightly at the camera he couldn't help but want to smile back, although he didn't he still felt it. Her warmth came to him and this was his Rin. The Rin he always remembered._

_"Yeah, the big one and six! HAHA! So, how does it feel to be me? Really good right now. I feel I've reached a milestone in life. Whoever is watching this must think me a fool. It's just a number most would say but to me it's important. My dreams have always happened since I could remember at the age of six they began. There is always this shadowy, yet white figure in my thoughts when I sleep. I don't know who it is but sometimes I can see his face and boy is he HOT! "_

He couldn't help but choke a little when he heard that statement. So her infatuation with him grew as she grew as well. Grinning the tiniest bit, he watched as she began to explain things.

_"I don't know what happened, but these dreams are like real life. Weird hugh? Yeah, at least I think it that way. Maybe whoever is watching this knows the reason. Maybe it's the man in my dreams. If it is, let me just say I think I'll always remember you; your someone I cannot forget. I hope I'm in your life."_

She didn't even say goodbye as she turned the camera off. Sad thing was, no she wasn't there with him watching her own childhood antics. She wasn't here at all. Sighing he waited for the next video to start but nothing came up. No more on it. Hugh. Ruffling through the same box he had found this disk in he found another. It was labeled with his name. Hugh? Slipping it in his laptop like he had done previously he watched.

Amazing how she could always capture his gaze. Beautiful was the only thing to reach his senses and it was like she was sitting in front of him. Though, this time it was in their bedroom. When had she found the time? Oh well, he did not care he only watched her slight form step back from the camera and smile warmly at him. She wore a lovely deep red (almost blood) silk top. Clearly it was near nightfall. It reached her knees and had black lace edges around the bust and bottom. A seductive piece of nightwear that he had remembered seeing only once. The straps were thin strips of lace as well. When he she captured herself for this tape? It was night; of course, he could as well see the moon shinning in through the large window next to the bed she not sat upon. It shown through the room to illuminate her already pale skin. Smooth as the silk she was wearing. What took his attention more than her appearance were the words she spoke when she began.

_"Been a while hugh? It's been years since I've confessed anything. I'll always remember these things as little confessions I let out into the world. But this one is for that person whom I've always dreamt about. If you've found the tape that's a bad thing. You weren't supposed to see this Sesshomaru but I did however make this for you. So, cheer up! I know your feeling bad, no matter how much you would deny it. So, now that that's over with, how are you? Doing well without me? I hope you are, really I do."_

_She seemed to smile sadly at the lens and a trickle of tears escaped her eyes which made him lean forward as if she was actually there, which he knew was not true. He could only wish. He watched as she continued to smile after wiping her tears away from her cheeks. Once again, she resumed talking._

_"Honestly, I never wanted to let you go. Some things happen that we will never understand, of course I don't want to bore you with the same story you've probably heard a thousand times by now; things happen for a reason. Well, what do I have left to say to you besides I love you? Well, its odd talking to you through a camera isn't it? Oh well, I've done this before. So, what is there to say when most of the time that I spent with you I had said enough for both of us? Haha_

_Looking straight into the camera she spoke her next words calmly and solemnly._

_"I love you Sesshomaru and I always will. I just want you to know that nothing will ever change that. Never. To say that I never thought about leaving you would be untrue. Even in my old life I would get so frustrated with you sometimes I just wanted to get away. Though, the point of this is to say that even when I thought about it, it never happened. We made it through most everything except fate. I'm so sorry I had to leave but it could not be helped. I hope to meet you again one day. Someday I will see you across the street from me and have everything hit me all at once. When you don't want your picture taken, as you turn, I'll be there. I love you, I miss you. Goodbye love."_

With her last sentence it was terminated and he only sat there looking at the blank screen with sadness. He had given up so much of his life to her; the past and the present. She was gone forever. He needed to get her back for his sanity and heart to feel whole again. Never had such a strong demon faced a terrible enemy; his own heart.

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A/N: So another chapter dished out eh? Well, I plan on only making this story 10 chapters long, sooooo two more to go until the end people! YAY!


	9. Chapter 9

**"A Life Half Undone"**

Disclaimer: Does not belong to me.

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This just so happens to be a Mardi Gras present to you all!

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Another month had passed and he still found himself alone and disheartened. He worried over her well being. Today was odd however, because he found himself driving home, through his hidden drive way through trees that laced the entire property. It wasn't that he knew today had been going strange but it was the fact that he felt a little bit off about everything he did; every decision he made at the company just did not seem accurate. So, when he was driving through the row of trees that shaded his driveway from most of the rain and he then feels the same feeling, it was a hint of uneasiness. Something was...not right. Pulling over he felt himself step out of his car and into the forest surrounding his lands.

His mind was racing because his body was controlling his actions. What on earth was he doing in the middle of a damp smelling forest getting his expansive suite wet? None of the answers he knew but his inner demon kicked in and he was off sprinting into the woods blindly. Then, he stopped suddenly and looked around. What in the hell was he doing here? It wasn't any place special, just another clump of trees. Then, as he was about to turn around he smelt that scent. It was her! His Rin was here! His inner demon-sensing its job done- left him in control again and he only needed to look around the trunk of the large tree in front of him to see her. Apparently, she did not know that he was there because she was stood by the tree, leaning actually, and hummed a tune as she held an umbrella above her head.

She wore the palest shade of blue dress that had thick straps on her pale shoulders. Small, white shoes with spots of mud on them decorated her feet. She must have visited this place, or maybe she was coming back to him? She knew where he lived and she wouldn't just traipse through the woods just to find his house when she also knew about the road leading to his home. So, she was just here to visit. Well, he screamed in his mind to grab her and run home with her and never let her leave again, but he also knew that she would come with him at her own free will; that's how he wanted it.

"Rin?"

Shocked, she turned around quickly and looked at him with wide eyes. Of course she hadn't been expecting him to find her here in the woods talking to herself. Looking around she tried to find a way to leave him as fast as possible but she knew he would use his demon speed to expel an answer out of her, so she gave up and sighed to herself. Well, it was bound to happen sometime; she just wasn't prepared for it to happen at that moment. Obviously he was awaiting her answer as to why she was there and finally after a few moments of silence she began to speak, but she had turned around again before she spoke to him.

"I've been here for a while. Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I remember that I used to love the woods outside the mansion. I came here on a whim and I didn't know you were going to find me. I'll leave now."

He wanted to stop her but his mind wouldn't let his lips move to speak to her. She walked passed him and as she brushed her shoulder against his own, he found that his hand grabbed hers' and quickly stopped the motions. Like wise, she halted her steps and looked back at him. Quietly he spoke to her.

"I did not say you could leave me."

She wanted to smile at his use of trying to sound brash but she saw through it. He was never able to do it that well after two years of wondering around with him. Always, she could tell the emotions because of his eyes and right now she saw sadness and regret. In turn, she too felt wronged again by him and immediately placed a blank and uncaring look upon her own face. She could only hope that he could not see her eyes, for she was giving away her sadness with them.

"I never asked your permission for anything. I wish to be left alone."

He openly scoffed at her comments and again she was enraged. How dare he insult her by claiming to still have power over her mind after all that he had done to her! Arrogant son of a bitch! ARGH!

"No, you would not have come here if you wished to be left to your own musings."

Saying nothing she was only able to bow her head. He was right after all. Sure, she hadn't expected to see him but deep down she knew that a small fraction of her wanted him to find her when she had come to the forest earlier in the day. No, she did not want to acknowledge that **any** part of her wanted the pleasure of seeing him, but reluctantly it did. In the end she could only listen to that small part of her.

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru. Why?! Why would you not tell her the things I wished to know?! I have no doubt that it was hard for you to live all of these years without me, but it was an important part of who I used to be; a part of who I am right now. Tell me why? Please Sesshomaru."

He did not give her time to breathe as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her along to stand next to the tree and try to keep away from the rain. Still however, it poured on not giving a break to the couple. Thunder cracked in the distance and he could tell that the storm would only get worse. She was stubborn and would not move from this spot until she had gotten her wishes granted, so growling loudly he surmised that he needed to end this quarrel quick before the both of them were hurt. He quickly noticed that he had to yell even though she was close to him because of the rain pouring down and hitting the surfaces of the leaves and the trunks of the trees, as well as the thunder roaring when it sounded.

"I'm SORRY! I'm sorry Rin. I did not tell you because all of these years and on that day I blamed myself for what happened to you and to this day and the ones to come I will still tell myself that I could have saved you. I should have stayed with you and let Inuyasha fight his own battle. I should have taken you along! Damn it, I should have kept you all to myself, but I failed you Rin. I failed to protect what was mine!"

So he was not mad at her for leaving, he was mad at himself for something he saw as his fault. How long had he been holding it in? Years. Looking up above her she sighed heavily and watched the rain drip from the leaves and land on his clothing. Then, suddenly, she locked eyes with him.

"It wasn't your fault. You had nothing to do with my decision. I remember everything Sesshomaru and you could have done nothing. I opened the box that housed the Shikon no Tama; my decision alone was my fate. Do not blame yourself for something you could not prevent. There is nothing to forgive here, except for maybe the fact that both of us need to forgive one another for being complete morons to each other's needs."

She laughed audibly over the crazy noise the background of the forest. He could not help but bring her forward and whisper next to her ear.

"This Sesshomaru is sorry that you acted out of context."

She wanted to smack him but she held it back. Suddenly, she was brought into a searing kiss and decided that she would only get a few apologies in her life time and today was one of them but it would only happen once. He had apologized already just not when she had wanted him to. Oh well, she spent years with him bickering at her before and she sure as hell could do it again. After all, who wouldn't want to be kissed in the rain by a handsome demon who loved you? Smiling into the kiss Rin made a decision at that exact moment as thunder erupted in their ears. Breaking the kiss she placed her lips to his ear and he heard something he never thought he would hear again; something he hadn't heard in centuries.

"I love you Sesshomaru. Always."

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A/N: Ready for the FINAL chapter folks? Well, it should be coming soon. I will warn you before hand; it is small/short. I know I don't like short chapters, but I decided to seperate it. Sorry, for those of you like me. :-( 


	10. Chapter 10

**"A Life Half Undone"**

**_Epilogue_**

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And so we come to a close with this fic. Another gift to you is the last chapter and it comes on the day of Chinese New Year! Have a good year of the rat!

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Holding hands they walked into the forest on a bright day. Clouds were about to roll in on the horizon but she had so wanted to visit the tree again and he could not say no to her. He just wanted to get her back to their home before the assured rain clouds let forth their droplets. He sighed to himself and watched as she looked up at him as they walked. She always noticed his moods, it must be a hassle to put up with it, but she did and she achieved it with excellent grace. 

Stepping over idle rocks and small stumps they pressed on into the depths of the forest. The sun was peering through the clouds at odd intervals giving a hint to the large storm coming for them. Bad storms often crept from the shores. Of course, the demon could smell it in the air and the small human woman next to him was oblivious as she hummed a tune to herself taking her mind away from the steps she raised on the soft grass and scattered leaves. Lightly she tripped over a small root from a nearby tree and yipped out loud. Luckily he caught her.

"Careful Rin, I don't want you falling on yourself."

She smiled up at him and whispered a small thank you as they again, headed to their destination. A small clearing was up a head a few yards away and he could hear her elevated heart beat and pulse. She was excited about this meeting, he knew, but he never expected her to be giddy over a damned old thing!

"Calm yourself Rin. We shall arrive soon enough."

Seemingly she laughed at him and only tugged his hand harder to get him to move faster.

"Sesshomaru?"

He only replied with his usual silence. So, taking up the chance to speak she did.

"Do you think he will remember me?"

He stopped suddenly and peered down at her. Patting her hand he picked up his stride again as the sun was blotted out by the rain clouds.

"You are not a hard soul to forget dear Rin."

She laughed at him and then looked. They stood in front of a huge tree that stood tall but also shown to the world signs of scratched bark and old leaves. An old tree indeed that had survived many wars and had bared witness to many a people walking by. Though, he only showed himself to certain individuals and cranky dogs were on the list for the meetings of the day.

"The young pup is right dear lady. You Lady Rin are indeed a hard soul to forget."

A face materialized after the words were spoken. The tall tree smiled wildly at the girl who giggled freely.

"So, how many years has it been young dog lord?"

Scoffing Sesshomaru looked away at the dark clouds in the sky, seemingly contemplating an answer.

"Too many Bokusen-oh."

Again, he heard his mate laugh out loud. He couldn't help but be in a bit lighter mood. He had not wanted to go out of the mansion today because of the impeding storm. She would not get sick, certainly at a time like this and her position in life at the moment. Damn, they needed to get back home before the storm clouds broke and put her in danger of catching something. Then, he heard something he did not wish to hear from the old tree.

"So, Lady Rin is it a boy or a girl?"

Laughing, his mate rubbed her bulging stomach and smiled up at the demon and then the tree spirit. She however, did not get the chance to reply; her mate did it for her.

"A son."

The leaves (or what was left of them) shook with what seemed to be glee as the tree laughed heartily. Rin could only broaden her smile as she jabbed Sesshomaru in the ribs to get his attention.

"A healthy son to rule over these fair lands. What a great match made by the Gods to keep the good name of the demon clan alive."

Giving another glance at the clouds again Sesshomaru cut the conversation between his mate and the old tree short as he spoke.

"We must get back home Rin, we do not want you to catch something. It's going to rain soon."

Sighing heavily she wished the old tree well and looked to Sesshomaru to say his goodbye before they would depart back to the mansion. Looking over at the tree the demon Lord bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement and turned to Rin.

"Goodbye old friend."

He did not expect an answer, but he did however get one. However, he was the only one with his demon senses that could catch the words of the old tree spirit. His father years ago had come to tell his first son that with age came wisdom and he was beginning to understand that now.

"Your sons have done well InuTaisho. Very well indeed."

Sesshomaru heard no more from the tree and continued to walk with his Lady toward their home. She would be due in three months and having another being to watch would create problems, but the first chance he got he would come back to the tree and ask it questions. In all of his times of need he would go for a visit to the tree for wisdom. Assuredly, he would need wisdom as time passed and the days grew longer. He was a demon, after all, and he lived a rather long life; incidentally he would have many questions. Most would however, involve the wonderful human creature next to him. Finally, she was back with him and he would not let her leave him again, ever. She and the being that now rested inside of her were what kept him going through the days. The tree's soft whispers were correct he mused to himself. He had done well for himself and he was sure his own father would be proud.

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A/N: So people how was it? Good? Bad? Boy I hope not the second choice. Anyway, I know I'm back but college is going to put a hamper on many things to do with my writing. Sorry guys. Life blows! Always reminding you to review! REVIEW! REVIEW! Oh and a little side note would be that I am working on a new fic as we speak so keep an eye out! 


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